


I Wanna Scream 'I Love You' From The Top Of My Lungs (But I'm Afraid You Can't Hear Me)

by Girlwhocantbemoved



Category: Bandoms, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Deaf AU, Fluff, Happy in the beginning, Listen To Your Heart AU, M/M, Parents opposing, Rape Attempt, angsty ending, meningitis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 27,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4524228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlwhocantbemoved/pseuds/Girlwhocantbemoved
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick Stump was born deaf. He inherited it from his biological father. Pete's the waiter who falls in love with him, and Patrick feels the same, although Patrick's mom doesn't exactly approve. Is it worth the risk?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on the movie Listen To Your Heart.

Pete's morning was always about the same. Help poor George a little by buying a newspaper from him. People could get the paper from anywhere. The paper's all the same, but he'd rather buy it from the man with a heart as big as his. He'd then feed a few hungry ducks on his way and then give a few bucks to the lovely girl with the violin at the fountain in the middle of the city. Yea, Pete's mornings rarely changed.

-~-

The Stumphs had gone to Anthony's Café for lunch. They don't normally eat there, but it was their day out. They chose a table near the window.

Patrick Stump picks out a pen from his front pocket and scribbled something on his notepad. He rips it out and hands it to his mom, who takes it and reads it.

"Music school? Really Patrick?"

Patrick nodded solemnly. It was a good thing he was great at lip reading. He also knew sign language and obviously, writing.

"You've got to be kidding me" Patricia mutters, crumpling the paper.

Patrick writes something else down.

"I don't care if it's your dream, Patrick. You're 28 and are going to recieve a proper education, whether you like it or not"

Patrick sighs and hangs his head.

"Honey, your father was a musician. You don't need to follow his footsteps"

"But I want to" Patrick signs, glancing up with a pleading expression.

Before his mom could answer, a unknown voice cuts in.

"May I take your order?"

Patricia examines the menu.

"Yes. Patrick here will have the chicken caeser salad, no croutons, and I'll share the chicken parmesan with my husband"

Patrick mentally rolls his eyes. The man wasn't even his biological father. Just his stupid step-father.

He look up at the waiter and meets his eyes. Patrick can't help but give him a small smile, earning a wide grin in return. The waiter was cute. He has whiskey brown eyes and fair tan skin. His hair was dark, and Patrick couldn't tell if it's black or dark brown.

The smile slowly faded from Patricia's face as she sees the exchange of smiles between her son and the waiter.

She clears her throat, waking them both from their daze. Pete turns to Patricia while Patrick goes back to staring down at his pen.

"Did you get that?" She asks.

Pete gulps and stares at his blank notepad.

"O-Oh, uh, yea. He'll have th-the, um... the..."

Pete sighs heavily. 

"I'm terrible sorry. Could you, uh, repeat that?"

Patricia repeated the order slowly, as if she was explaining everything to a child.

Pete nods.

"Right. Soup or salad?"

Patricia raises an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"The chicken Parmesan. It either comes in form of soup or salad" Pete explains.

"Well what kind of soups?"

"Uh, chicken noodle-"

"That'll do"

Pete snickers as he writes it down, muttering "that's a lot of chicken"

Patricia glares at him before adding "and a round of waters"

Pete nods and shoots Patrick one more smile before leaving.

-~-

"So how was it?" Pete asks once he's back.

"Fine. Take my credit card" Patricia says, handing it to him.

"I'll be right back"

Patricia stares at her son suspiciously. Patrick avoids all eye contact with her. 

Once Pete's back, he hands the card back to Patricia. The family stands and make their way to the door. Pete debates on whether or not handing the small paper with his number on it to the cute guy.

Pete's always been daring, so he does it. He walks up to the cute blonde.

"You forgot something" he says, taping his shoulder. He hands him the paper.

Patrick smiles and pockets the small slip of paper.

"Patrick!" Patricia calls, grabbing a hold of his wrist and pulling him along.

Pete watches them head out.

"Patrick" he mutters, testing out the name of the cute blonde man. He love the way it rolls off his tongue.

He felt a hand clasp his shoulder.

" 'You forgot this'. Real smooth, Petey boy" Gabe says behind him, crackling.

Before Patrick's completely in the car, he turns back and sends Pete a small wave.

-~-

Sometimes, Gabe and Pete would stay overnight and eat dinner there. They loved the shop and would leave at late hours. However, tonight, Pete seemed vaguely quiet. Gabe knew why.

"There's about 5 or 10 hot guys who walk in everyday and you're stuck on one"

Pete sighs and says "it's not the same, man. He's different"

"Yea, well he's not calling, Pete"

"Encouraging, man. Really" Pete says, sarcasm dripping off every word.

Gabe shrugs and takes a bite of his burrito.

"Look, maybe he's giving it time or thinking about it. I mean, isn't there some sort of rule or something, like you can't call a guy for an amount of time after getting his number?" Pete asks.

"Yea, but that's a two day rule" Gabe says

"Two days?" 

"Well although that's common, some do follow a three day rule. I think it depends. Why? How long has it been?"

"Two weeks, I think?"

Gabe dropped his fork.

"Seriously? You're telling me it's been two weeks since you saw this guy?"

Pete only shrugs.

"Ok, look dude, I really think it's time to move on" Gabe says.

Pete doesn't say anything.

-~-

Patrick walks past the café, glancing up from his 'All About String Instruments' book. He walks back and forth for a while, glancing up every time he pass by. He gathers up the courage to go in.

Gabe was serving an elderly couple and glances up when he hears the chime of the small bell. Gabe, without a care, goes back to serving the elderly couple, that is until he realizes who exactly came in. 

Patrick takes a seat at the same table from last time. 

Gabe takes a deep breath before heading over to Patrick's table. He takes a seat, opposite from the blonde man.

"Hi there. Back again?" Gabe asks.kindly.

Patrick nods with a small smile.

Gabe nods understandingly before asking "so why didn't you call?

Patrick only stares. Gabe keeps talking.

"Don't worry, you can tell me. I won't say anything. You're not interested, right?"

Patrick tilts his head, having no idea whatsoever of what Gabe is talking about.

"I don't know. There might be a slight chance you're interested, but two weeks? That's kind of rude"

Patrick taps is ear, but Gabe has no idea of what he's trying to say. Patrick chuckles and fishes his pen and notepad out of his satchel. He flips to a random page and writes 'Is he here?' before sliding it over to Gabe.

"He's in the kitchen" Gabe says skeptically

Patrick writes "can you get him?"

"Yeah, I'll go get him" Gabe says softly, realizing what this is all about.

Right when Gabe was heading to the kitchen, Pete exits, his gaze immediately landing on Patrick.

"Dude, he's here" Pete says.

"Yeah, he's here but I got to tell you something" Gabe replies.

Pete doesn't seem to care, about to make his way to Patrick's table.

"Pete wait"

Pete doesn't. He walks up to Patrick's table and takes the seat Gabe was occupying.

"Hi. Back for some more great food?" Pete asks, forcing a smile.

Patrick shakes his head with small smile.

"Then, why are you back?"

Patrick stares.

"You never called"

Patrick grab the notepad and writes  
'I don't have a phone'

"Why not?" Pete asks.

Patrick takes a deep breath before deciding to write 'I'm deaf'

Pete stares at the two words for a while before glancing back up and muttering an "oh"

Pete bites his lip and signs his own name. Patrick grins.

Pete lets out of breathy chuckle and says "one of my mom's friends was deaf. All I know is my name, though"

Patrick giggles, earning a smile from the older man.

"So do you think I could get your email?" Pete asks.

Patrick read his lips and nods. He writes his email on a separate piece of paper and rips it out, handing it to Pete.

"Thanks. I'll message you tonight" Pete assures. Patrick smiles and nods.

Pete does exactly that when he got home from work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'd be great I'd you guys let me know if there are any grammar errors

"Movies it is" Pete says that night from his laptop. 

Gabe was over at his apartment, watching some basketball tournament on tv. He turns to him, raising an eyebrow.

"What about his hearing?" He asks 

Pete asks Patrick the same question, waiting for his reply. He answers after a few seconds.

"I read lips when I can. When I can't, I enjoy the view. It's not any different from my normal life" Pete reads aloud.

Pete turns to Gabe, only to find him already staring back at him.

Gabe turns back to the tv and mutters "good luck, man"

-~-

Pete and Patrick did have their date the next night. They'd just finished watching a romance flick.

"So what did you think? Did you like it?" Pete asks on their way out.

Patrick shrugs.

"You know you can talk. I'm sure I'll understand" Pete assures.

Patrick's breath hitched. Pete noticed, and perhaps if was too soon to say something like that. Pete had no other choice but to change the subject.

"You know what? Are you hungry?"

Patrick sighs in relief and nods.

"Come on"

Pete took Patrick's hand and together, they made their way to the café. 

-~-

"So tell me about yourself. I don't really know anything" Pete says, after they're done with dinner.

Patrick grabs his notebook and begins to write. Pete patiently waits for him. He takes quite a while, so Pete tries to make himself as comfortable as possible in this chair, squirming and shifting. Patrick looks up once in a while, hoping Pete isn't too impatient.

Finally, Patrick hands Pete his notepad. Pete grins and takes it, reading the first page.

"Vegetarian Pizza. I like that, too. Though I so prefer pepperoni" Pete comments, glancing up. Patrick laughs.

"You dropped the 'h' in your last name, huh?" Pete asks, receiving a nod from the other man.

"Wait...you've never driven a car before?"

Patrick shakes his head.

"We're going to have to change that" Pete says. Patrick laughs and nods.

Pete furrows his eyebrows and asks "music? But how-?"

Patrick points back to the notepad.

Pete flips the page, expecting there to be more. Surely enough, there was.

"I'm sorry about your dad" 

Patrick sighs and smiles sadly.

Pete is about to hand it back before Patrick pushes it back in his direction

"There's more?"

Patrick nods rapidly.

Pete reads the last page there is and chuckles. 

"You're cute, too" 

Patrick blushes and laughs, shaking his head.

"You really are, though" Pete says, placing his hand over Patrick's on the same table. Patrick only smiles and takes his hand out from under Pete's.

"Anyway, how do you like, talk to people?"

Patrick taps the spot under his eye and then Pete's lips.

"But then how do you say what you want to say?" Pete asks.

Patrick points to his notepad.

"Ok, but what about sign language?" 

Patrick grabs the notepad and writes "My mom didn't want me to learn it as a kid"

"So you don't know any?" Pete asks.

Patrick writes "I went to an oral school were you can't sign. That'a why I can read lips well"

"Oh, so you learned it as an adult? I think that's really cute"

Patrick laughs.

Pete takes a quick breath and takes one glance at the instrument set in the corner of the café. He turns back to Patrick.

"Hey, can I show you something?"

Patrick nods, taking a quick glance in the same direction.

"Come on" Pete takes his hand.

Pete grabs the bass guitar and strums a perfect tune.

Patrick spots the piano and takes a seat on the bench, hovering his fingers over the keys. Maybe he wasn't suppose to do this, but he couldn't help it. He hasn't played since his dad was alive. Thankfully, he still remembers the beat his dad created, even after his mom got rid of their old piano when he passed away. Next thing he knows, Pete's sitting right beside him. Patrick grabs a pile of printing paper he sees on the music rack, thinking their sheet music.

It was just a bunch of words. Lyrics.

Patrick takes his notepad and writes "you want to become a famous musician one day?"

Pete reads it and shakes his head, laughing a bit.

"No, but I do want my songs to become known. I don't know much about piano, though"

"So you write lyrics and play bass?" Patrick writes.

"Yea. I learned how to play bass when I was 12. Then, I just started writing my own stuff" 

Patrick writes "I only learned a bit of piano when my dad was still alive"

"Can you show me?"

Patrick bites his bottom lip and is about to press down before yanking his hand back.

"It's ok" Pete assures.

Patrick stares at the black and white keys before pressing a single one. He presses his free hand up against the piano, feeling the sound flow through him.

He begins to play with both hands, even starting to hum in the middle of the song. He turns to Pete when he's done, hoping he didn't make any sort of mistake.

"That was amazing! It was fun too, right?"

Patrick taps his ear and smiles awkwardly.

"I know, but it was fun, right?" Pete asks.

Patrick shrugs and nods.

Then it's complete silence. They sit there, staring at one another, as if they were the only presence in the room. Pete hesitate before leaning a bit closer, testing to see if Patrick was thinking the same in Pete's mind. 

Apparently he was, judging by the way Patrick also leans it, expecting Pete to close the gap completely. Pete gladly obliges. Pete's hand makes it's way to Patrick's waist and the other craddles the blonde's cheek. Patrick encircles his arms around the other's neck.

They pull apart, in need of oxygen, but the smiles remaining on both of their faces.


	3. Letting Loose

"So how did he lose his hearing?" Gabe asks the next day at the café.

"Meningitis actually. He got it from his dad. His father couldn't afford the right treatment and ended up dying right in front of him when he was 5"

"How? He seems pretty wealthy to me"

"His step-dad is. He said it's the only reason his mom even married him. They were low on money. You know, his dad's passing reminds me of my mom"

"Huh. You guys really got to know each other"

Pete chuckles and says "you have no idea"

"Really? Did he stay the night?" Gabe asks with a smirk.

"Dude, I didn't sleep with him" Pete says.

"Then what did you do with him?" Gabe asks.

"I don't know. We laughed, talked, ate-"

"Wait...how did you even do that?" Gabe interrupts.

"Do what?"

"Talk"

"Well, it was interesting. I'm going to have to learn sign language. Did you know he even likes music since he was a kid?"

"Listen Pete. I know you like this guy and all, but don't you think you're getting too attached too soon? I mean, do you even think about how it's going to be hard to communicate with him on regular basis? I mean, I'm just saying. There's going to be things you're not going to be able to say to each other, even with sign language. And then you got his friends. You did know that when you date someone you also date their friends, right? Bill's friends are always up my ass-"

"Gabe, stop. You're rambling"

"Hey, all I'm saying is that there's a lot to think about here, so just do that"

"Listen man. I'm not going to miss out on something great just because it might be hard"

Gabe remains speechless.

-~-

The next night, they meet at fancy restaurant. Joe, Patrick's translator, has to come along. Something about keeping an eye on him.

"You look handsome" Pete compliments.

Patrick signs something quick. He wore a grey vest over a white button down, grey tie, grey pants and black shoes.

"So do you" Joe translates.

"So what looks good?" Pete asks Patrick.

"This halibut sounds terrific" Joe answers.

The two other boys stare blankly.

"Oh! Patrick here says..."

He frowns at whatever Patrick signed.

"Veggie burger? Patrick, man, this is a fancy-"

"No no, it's fine" Pete cuts in.

Joe simple shrugs before turning to Pete.

"So how is it that you could afford this place?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a question his mom would ask" Joe says and signs so Patrick could keep up with the conversation a lot easier.

"Uh, lots of hard work" Pete says.

"Doing what exactly?"

"Waiting tables"

Joe turns to Patrick uneasily.

"Oh boy. His mom is not going to like this"

"Listen, could you just, you know, interpret for now? Until I'm ready to meet the whole family?"

Patrick tries hard not to crack a smile.

Just then, the waiter came by to fill their empty glasses with wine. Patrick stares as it's poured into his own glass.

"Do you not like wine?" Pete asks kindly.

"He's never drank before, fool" Joe retorts.

"Not even wine?"

"His mother's gonna love this" Joe spits, sarcasm dripping off every word.

Patrick raises his glass and examines it before taking a sip. His eyes widen at the taste. It was a bit strong, but he found it delicious. He even licks his lips once he swallows the liquor.

By the end of the night, Joe's the only one sober. Pete and Patrick are a giggling mess, and Pete loves the way Patrick's cheeks are tinted pink from how tipsy he is. A hiccup escapes from his mouth. He covers his mouth, giggling into his hand.

"He likes the wine" Pete declares.

"You are just on a roll with the Stumph family, aren't you? Devirgenizing their only son to the evils of alcohol. Check!" Joe hisses, drawing a check mark in the air with his index finger.

"He's 28!" Pete protests.

"And? He's never had sex before, either. Are you gonna take that from him, too? Virginity thief. Check" 

"Hey, come on. Don't you think you're keeping some tight reins here?" Pete questions.

Patrick tries to stop himself from laughing. Pete turns to Patrick.

"Do you wanna go out without-?(Pete motions to Joe)

Patrick nods enthusiastically.

"I don't think so" Joe signs and says.

Patrick immediately protests.

"You know your mother would not approve!"

"Come on! He's old enough to make his own decisions" Pete adds.

Patrick playful pouts, and Joe can't help but to give in, sighing heavily. Patrick beams, signing something Pete obviously doesn't understand.

"You ready?" Pete asks, standing up and grabbing his jacket. Patrick nods, pushing in his chair. Pete leaves a stash of twenty-dollar bills and takes Patrick's hand. Together, they exit the restaurant.

-~-

Pete had taken him to one of the most known bars in the city. He hadn't been there in a while, but he clearly remembers how much fun he had.

"Trust me. This is gonna be one of the best nights of your life" Pete assures, holding the door open. 

"Petey!" Gabe shouts, making his way through the crowd to give his best friend a side hug.

"Hey, man. Didn't know you were here"

"How ya doing, Patrick?" Gabe asks, patting his shoulder. Patrick smiles and nods in greeting.

"Watch this, Patrick" Pete shouts over the music.

"Hey everyone! It's Patrick's 28th birthday!" Pete shouts louder.

"Is it really?" Gabe asks Patrick. The blonde smiles and shakes his head.

Everyone cheers and start offering free drinks. Patrick gladly accepts them. Perhaps the taste is as good as the wine. However, once he takes his first shot, it's burns his throat, though it's kind of a good feeling.

He let's loose that night, having as much fun as he can. He takes shots after shots and tries other alcoholic drinks. He'd dance and laugh at everything, definitely more than tipsy. He was, as you'd call it, shit-faced.

After a few more drinks, he signs he wants to go home. Pete understands him by the look on the blonde's face. He takes his hand and leads them out. Patrick wraps his arms around Pete'a neck, hanging limply and giggling. Pete peck his pink lips.

"Come on. We need to get going"

They stay on the sidewalk, heading nowhere in particular.

"You are drunk" Pete declares.

Patrick glares at him, his face clearly reading 'no shit'.

His glare turns to a frown as he feels the alcohol coming back up. He doubles over possibly someone's fence and pukes in possibly someone's lawn.  
Pete rubs his back through it.

"Feeling a tad better?" Pete asks once Patricks done vomiting.

Patrick's spits last time before nodding. 

"Come on. Let's get you home" 

Patrick, however, has a different idea. He frowns and shakes his head. Pete knows what he's up to. 

"My place is tiny and messy"

Patrick pouts, and Pete now knows why Joe gave up so easily. Patrick's pout was the cutest thing ever.

"You sure?" Pete asks.

Patrick nods rapidly.

"Alright. I guess you can stay at my apartment" Pete says deafetedly but smiling.

Patrick grins and hides his face in the crook of Pete's neck.

He picks the blonde up bridal style. Patrick squeals as he feels Pete pick him up.

"Come on, gorgeous"

-~-

Pete let's Patrick have the bed that night.

He hands Patrick a glass of water. Patrick takes it, but only takes a small sip.

"You can do better then that" Pete says, raising it back up to his lips. Patrick huffs and gulps down the rest. He hands Pete the cup back and attacks his lips hungrily. Pete backs away slowly with a bit of difficulty.

"You're too drunk for that" Pete says as he stands up and digs through his drawer. He picks out a white shirt and grey sweatpants and hands then to Patrick.

"You should change into these"

Pete faces the opposite way while Patrick changes. The clothes are a bit loose on him, but they'll do. He wraps his arms around Pete's neck from behind and kisses his cheek.

"I think it's time for bed"

Patrick lies back down while Pete covers him up and kisses his forehead with a quick "goodnight". He cuts the lights off in his bedroom and takes the couch that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Patrick wakes up to Pete on his bedside. He squints at the sunlight coming through the blinds. He's never been an early bird, but Pete seemed fully awake and ready for the day at 10 am. Pete seemed to have read his mind.

"I've got insomnia"

He hands Patrick a glass of water and a pill.

"This is for you"

Patrick gratefully takes them and swallows them both.

"Congratulations. Your first hangover. The first sign of a truly successful birthday"

Patrick hands him back the empty cup and falls back, grabbing the pillow from behind his head and burying his face in it.

Pete's taking him to the café for breakfast, so Patrick got to participate on Pete's morning routine. He'd never been so close to the ducks by the pond, but now, he'd just fed them. He'd also met George the newspaper man. Pete explained why he always got his newspaper from him. The man was in need and extremely poor, so a few cents would come in handy. Patrick knew Pete truly had a huge heart.

"You take good care of Pete here. He's a keeper" George tells him. Patrick knows.

Pete didn't have to work today, so after breakfast, they headed back to the apartment. That's when Patrick realized the whole place was indeed a mess. He was probably to drunk to see that last night.

"I know what you're think and I warned you it was messy" Pete teases.

Patrick begins to straighten up the place a bit, picking up a few books from the floor until Pete stops him.

"You don't have to"

Patrick shakes his head and resumes. Pete sighs heavily, knowing Patrick wouldn't listen to him.

In the end, they clean together, leaving the apartment spotless and tidy.

-~-

"I swear, Pete. One dent in my car and you're a dead man" Gabe warns, handing him the keys to his Eclipse.

"I'll pay for any damages. I'm just gonna teach Trick how to drive" Pete says.

"I don't recall you being the best driver, much less the greatest instructor"

Pete rolls his eyes.

"I'm a professional. That's how I got my license"

"Pete, anyone could get their license, yet not be too professional"

"True, but I am" Pete says with a smirk.

-~-

"Haha Gabe is going to kill me!" Pete exclaims, not as worried as he should be. Maybe a little too thrilled.

Patrick, on the other hand, is panicking. He'd accidentally knocked a mailbox over. Gabe's car didn't exactly have a dent, but it did have a couple scratches.

"Don't worry, Trick. Gabe isn't going to blame you. This is your first time driving." Pete explains

Gabe blames Pete, obviously. 

-~-

They go to a skating rink that night as a third date. They grab a pair of skates and place them on. Patrick helps Pete, who was having a bit of trouble, stand straight. He trembles a bit, but overall he's fine.

"I'm not exactly the best skater. Not the best at anything, really" Pete says.

"I'll help you" Patrick signs.

Pete's kept his word and was studying sign language. He's a fast learner, so he's got the hang of it. He also trusts Patrick, so he lets him lead the way to the rink.

He does have a little trouble keeping balance, but Patrick's holding on to him.

"Is this how you felt driving Gabe's car? Thinking you'll crash and screw up everything?" Pete asks.

Patrick laughs and nods.

And that's how it went for a while, Pete hanging on to Patrick for dear life, thinking he'll come crashing down and break a bone. Or worse:break the ice. At least he thinks it can happen.

"When'd you learn how to skate?"

"When I was 12" Patrick signs.

"Guess I'll learn at the age of 33, huh?"

Patrick laughs again and it's music to Pete's ears.

He tries to detach himself from Patrick, but the blonde holds on tighter, aware of what Pete's got in mind.

"Don't worry. I think I've got the hang of it"

"But what if you don't?" Patrick signs.

"I do. Trust me on this one"

Patrick loosens his grip until he let's his hand drop to his side. However, Pete takes his hand back and steadily skates to the right. Patrick admits he's scared of what his (boyfriend?)is planning.

He started off great but ended up falling on his ass, dragging Patrick down with him with a yelp. They laugh, though, and take their time getting back to their feet.

Patrick bumps their noses together. He had to stand on his tiptoes but whatever.

"You're adorable, you know?" Pete whispered.

Patrick giggles and pecks his lips. It was an innocent little kiss until it got slightly more heated. They kept it public, since there were kids around.

"Not now. Definitely later"

-~-

The fourth date takes place at the park. Patrick doesn't like to go all out or hang out in huge places. He's found the rest of the dates better than the second, which took place at the fancy restaurant and bar. He'd even found the first movie date amazing. He doesn't like fancy or crowded places. He'd much rather feed ducks and watch the girl at the fountain play violin.

Joe had to come along, Patricia's orders, much to Pete's dismay. Patrick made him sit by a nearby bench.

Pete's not exactly sure if he'd call this a date. All they're doing is teaching Pete some more sign language and practice communicating with it.

Joe couldn't help but to sneak a glance. He smiled when he saw the happy couple laughing and poking each other playfully.

Joe thinks they're perfect and fuck whatever Patricia thinks or says.


	5. School really sucks

The whole reason Patrick came here to Chicago was to study. He was here to study for the year and would have to go back during summer. His step-dad and Patricia were just going to drop him off and head back to Europe, their homeland. He was almost through the year and he and Pete had been together for a while now. They were official, that's for sure, and Patrick had gotten used to the city.

School was always the harder part. Sometimes, Patrick felt sort of left out when he attended a public school where everyone could hear while he had to bring Joe along to translate whatever the teacher would say from afar. Other than that, he loved to learn. He'd pay close attention to everything Joe would sign to him. Like now in science.

"All right. Let's find out the answer to the age old philosophical question of: if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?" Mr. Hoppus asks.

The whole room stayed silent.

"Thoughts anyone?" He asked.

No one answered for a while. Patrick then saw Mr. Hoppus speak to someone in the back. He curiously followed his gaze to read a student's answer.

"It obviously made a sound"

"How do you know that, Shane?" A muscular guy asked near him.

"What do you mean how do I know? It fell, Andy, so it obviously made a sound"

"But no one was there to hear it" 'Andy' says.

"So if I fart and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?"

A few laughs echoed through the classroom.

"Well, you were there to hear it, and were there to smell it"

Andy's comment brought more laughs 

Patrick turns back around and raises his hand, waiting for Mr. Hoppus to pick on him.

"Yes, Mr. Stump?"

Patrick begins to sign his answer while Joe translates it aloud for everyone to hear, including the teacher.

"It depends on the meaning of the word 'sound'. Is it mental or physical? If we define it as physical, then it means a pattern of vibrations in the air. But sound could also be mental. In that case, it wouldn't be defined as vibrations, but how our minds interperate the things we hear. So if you think that sound is physical, then yes, it made a sound. But if the sound was mental, then it didn't"

"Very good, Mr. Stump" Mr. Hoppus compliments, glaring at Shane. Patrick once again follows his gaze, and sadly gets to read Shane's next words that were directed to the student beside him.

"Either way, he wouldn't hear it"

Patrick frowns. The comment hurt, no doubt about that. Patrick already felt left out, and adding to the idea wasn't making the situation better.

Without a second thought, he shoots up from his seat and scurries out.

"How the hell did he hear that?" Shane asked to no one in particular.

-~-

Patrick splashes more cold water on his burning face. It sucked and it was completely embarrassing. He grabs a paper towel and dries his face. He stares at his reflection, all his flaws suddenly noticeable. He hated himself. Why did he have to inherit the illness from his dad? Couldn't he be normal? His physical image was bad enough and he could barely stand it. Maybe coming here wasn't such a grea-.

Someone barges in. Patrick spots them from the mirror.

It was the same guy who was previously arguing (would you call it arguing?) with Shane. Andy was his name?

"You ok?"

Patrick offers a small smile. Andy was certainly taller than him, even if only by a little.

"We're in two classes together, right?"

Patrick thinks and nods. They share a quick hand shake.

"I'm Andy. Andy Hurley. Mr. Hoppus called you Mr. Stump so I'm assuming that's your last name and then I once overheard the curly haired dude call you Patrick"

Patrick nods, confirming that he was right.

"You were really great in there. You can't listen to Shane. He's always been and will be a jerk, but I have a feeling he won't be talking much in that class anymore"

Patrick actually feels a bit better by the kindness in Andy's expression and wording. Andy seems buff and intimidating, which doesn't at all fit his personality. He's actually seen Andy before in his classes and he doesn't speak much.

"Come here dude" Andy gives him a side hug, patting his shoulder.

"Let's get back in there, alright?" 

Patrick nods and follows Andy on the way out.

He tells Pete about Andy when he gets to his apartment.

-~-

They're in the middle of a make out session when Patrick accidentally knocks down a photograph. He pulls away and reaches down to grab it, examining the elder woman on the photograph.

"That's my mom. She passed away 11 years ago" Pete signs with a sadden expression

Patrick smiles sadly and turns back to the picture. 

The woman looked no older than 40. She had dark hair, like Pete's, and she seemed to be fishing in the picture.

"You know, everyday at work, I hear people complain about the silliest things. I was there through everything, all five years that she fought the cancer and not once did I hear her complain. But I did do it. Everyday, she'd wake up and say 'it's a great day to be alive'. I remember I just looked at her and thought 'there must be a heaven' because I just saw it in her smile. She was always there for me and still is. Forever"

Patrick smiles at that, remind him of his own relationship with his own dad and how close they were.

Then he remembers the beat his dad created on an acoustic guitar. 

Patrick knows Pete's apartment like the back of his hand, so he gets up and looks for the acoustic guitar. He comes back a few seconds later with the guitar. He sits cross legged in front of Pete and tunes the guitars as best as he can. He strums the chords, trying to remember exactly how his own father had played it.

From the look on Pete's face, he'll say he did pretty well.

"Can I try?" Pete asks.

Patrick hands the instrument to his boyfriend, watching attentively as he plays it. Apparently Pete wasn't as great, since he cringed when he started playing.

"It's close, anyway" he says with a laugh.

Patrick smiles and stares at the chords, remembering all those nights on the balcony, playing the guitar when the sun sets. Life was much better then, and even his mother wasnt as bitter.

He feels Pete grab his hand and lift his chin with the other hand.

"You loved your dad very much, didn't you?" Pete asks.

"He was my inspiration" Patrick signs.

"My mom was mine, too" Pete signs and says.

Patrick pulls him back in for a kiss, trying to pick up where they left off.


	6. Chapter 6

Classes were always fun for Patrick, thanks to Andy. They'd pass notes and giggle silently at what the other wrote. Joe would watch them suspiciously, unable to hide an amusing smile. They'd get caught, but it didnt stop them. Soon, as expected, they became best friends. Andy learned sign language from Joe, making it easier for him and Patrick to chat. However, during class, the best options were just passing notes.

Right now, they were working on a project, so they could pick partners. You'd guess who Patrick paired up with.

"What's going on back there, you two?" Mr. Hoppus asked, eyeing the two friends.

"Nothing, sir" Andy muttered, sneakly sliding the note under his notebook.

"I expect this project at the end of the week"

When Mr. Hoppus gets back to whatever he'd been working on, Patrick snickers, earning a nudge from the older man.

-~-

Summer finally came around, meaning Patrick would leave to Europe. At least, that's what Andy thought.

"Then what are you gonna do this summer other than leave to Europe?_" Andy asks.

Patrick shrugs, picking at the hem of his cardigan.

"Wait...are you even packed?"

Patrick smiles amusingly.

"Dude, when are they gonna pick you up?" 

"Patrick signs his answer, grinning.

"Two weeks?! Are you crazy?! What if your mom finds out?"

Patrick shrugs. Andy pats his shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you, man" he says.

Patrick signs it back slowly before hugging him.

-~-

Pete had brought his boyfriend a gift before he left on his trip, only to find out he was staying for another two weeks.

"Babe, that's great!" Pete exclaimed, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"I know" Patrick signed.

"I was gonna give you this to take,  
but now that you're staying for a little longer, I don't wanna wait"

Pete grabbed the gift from the bookshelf and hands it to Patrick, who eyes it suspiciously. He undoes the bow and opens the box. He grins widely when he pulls out a black fedora.

"I caught you eyeing it at that shop on our way to the bar on our first date" Pete says.

Patrick blushes and examines the hat. It was expensive, but it certainly had captured Patrick's attention. His family had the money, not him.

"Try it on. I know you want to" Pete taunted playfully.

Patrick grins and fits it on his head. He poses playfully.

"It looks amazing" Pete says softly, poking his nose.

Patrick smiles, not quite reaching his eyes. 

"Hey what's wrong?" Pete asks, his voice full of concern.

"What if my mom finds out?" Patrick signs.

Pete frowns and held his arms out. Patrick immediately falls into them. Patrick sighs heavily, closing his eyes and forcing himself not to cry.

"Don't worry about her, alright? I'm sure she'll think you stayed a while for, I dunno, hang with Andy?" Pete suggests when they pull apart. Patrick nods slowly.

"Now how about we go for a walk to show you around some more?" Pete asks, offering a small smile.

Patrick sniffs and let's out a small smile before shaking his head.

"Why not?" Pete pouts playfully.

Patrick knocks them both down to the floor. He nuzzles Pete's shoulder, glancing up through his eyelashes.

"You wanna cuddle?"

Patrick nods, snuggling closer and throwing his arm over Pete's lean midsection.

"Maybe the walk can wait"

Patrick hums lazily as Pete pecks his forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

They actually took a walk the next day. They’d fallen asleep yesterday on the floor. It was comfortable and peaceful, perfect for an afternoon nap.

They walked hand in hand through the park, enjoying the cool breeze and shade provided by the trees. 

Pete had shown Patrick some of the city until they ended up at the park, close to Pete’s apartment. They swung their interwind hands back and forth. Patrick would occasionally hum along to the birds chirping. That is, until he suddenly stopped.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

Patrick signs his response quickly. 

“Interview? With who?” Pete asks.

Pete’s eyebrows furrow at his boyfriend’s response.

“With an accountant firm?”

Patrick nods, not too thrilled the thought of it. Luckily, Pete caught his drift.

“Listen, Trick. Thats great and all, but I’ve known you long enough to know that’s not what you want to do”

Patrick nods rapidly.

“Really? So your whole life you grew up dreaming about crunching numbers?”

Patrick shook his head this time. Pete signed

“Then what then?”

Patrick shrugs nonchalantly . 

“When you were a kid, what was the one thing you dreamt about every night when you went to bed?”

Patrick fails to hide a smile at Pete’s desperate tone and answers. Pete grins triumphantly. 

“See? I knew it. Now what happened? Why aren’t you playing concert for a big audience? Why are you not singing?”

Patrick frowns. Pete should know why he’s not either singing or playing an instrument. Was Pete mocking him? He glares at the brunette before he spins on his heel and begins to walk away.

That is, until he felt someone grab his arm.

“Tricky, that doesn’t mean you can’t still play. I mean, look at Beethoven. You can do whatever you want to do” Pete’s voice was softer, but it didn’t make Patrick any calmer.

Patrick continues glaring and signs his answer furiously.

“Whats wrong with the way I live?” Pete asks.

Patrick stares at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Pete lifts his chin up until their eyes meet.

“You know what I think? I think you’re scared” 

Pete’s voice was accusing. In fact, it was reasoning. Patrick’s about to protests before Pete cuts him off.

“No, you are. Not of your mother or Andy or Joe or anyone else. You’re scared to be yourself. Life’s too short to live for someone else, Trick”

Patrick gives him one last glance before turning back around and walking away. 

Pete doesn’t bother to follow him, knowing Patrick just had to gather his thoughts.

And he was on his way to his own apartment. Patrick knew for a fact that Pete was right. Patrick was, in fact, scared. He was scared of anything might lip read when he tries to live his dream. He wasn’t just deaf, he was mute. It was selective muteness, but the idea of even speaking his mind scared him. He’d much less be able to sing or face a crowd who’d might just judge him.

He was scared.

You know why he's also scared?

Because he’s standing just outside of his apartment and can clearly hear the voice of his mother and Joe discussing. 

He digs out the key and slowly unlocks his door, twisting the knob before swinging the door open. Patrick isn’t even aware of himself holding his breath until he lets out a shaky one when Joe and Patricia turns to him.

~~~~~

It’s been a while (two days) since Pete has heard from his boyfriend. He’d tried emailing him, but would receive no reply. He had sent his tenth message when he finally got the reply he’d been hoping for.

'u there, babe?'

'Hey'

Pete smiled when he saw his boyfriend’s response. 

'hey, sorry about the other day. can i come over?'

'I had to leave already'

Pete stares at those simply five words before he starts to panic.

'wat do you mean?'

They picked me up last night. I’ll be gone for most of the summer

'wat happened to staying for 2 more weeks?'

'Got to go now. Be back in a month or so!'

'a month?!?! will you at least write?'

Pete’s question was left unanswered. Patrick had immediately gone offline right after he sent Pete his last message.

Pete slammed his laptop shut and bolted out of his apartment. 

~~~~

“Spencer! Do you know if Patrick’s in his apartment?” Pete asks.

“Uh, I don’t know, Pete. I haven’t seen him. Let me check"

The building superintendent flips through his notebook, searching for his updates. He frowns and shakes his head.

“Sorry Pete. He checked out last night. He says he moved out for the summer”

Pete’s rubs his eyes, exhausted from the lack of sleep. 

“Are you sure?”

“He signed out at 11:27 pm”

Pete sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Alright. Thanks Spencer”

Pete turns back around and heads out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Patricia smirks and shuts down the laptop after blocking Pete's email.

The door to Patrick's bedroom was yanked open, his mom barging in. Patricia held her son's laptop and scowled at him from his place on the bed.

"You will not see him, speak to him, or even think about him ever again! I did not spend all this time and effort raising you so you could run off with some deadbeat waiter!"

Patrick makes a grab for it, only to miss as his mom held it further away from him.

"Don't you dare. You are not getting this back until school starts next fall"

With those final words, she scurries out and slams the door shut behind her. Patrick lets out a broken sob he'd been holding in.

Patricia drops Patrick's laptop on the couch right next to Joe.

"You"

She points an accusing finger at the curly-haired man.

"Hide something from me again and you'll be finding another job"

~~~~~

Honestly, Pete didn't know what to expect. He'd didn't see it coming. He never thought Patrick would've left without even saying goodbye to him. He knew that although he was a bit heartbroken, he had to play it off as if nothing had ever happened. 

His lyrics would remind him that it did, though. Anyone in their right mind would know his heart was in two, as cliché as it may sound. Also, the empty table and chair would taunt him at work. He'd take an order, and evertime his eyes landed at that one table where they had their first meeting and date, his face would fall. He'd turn back to the customer and force a smile and an apology.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?"

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Patrick found another source of communication: letters. He always thought Joe was the only one around here who actually understood him. He'd write them and hand them to Joe. 

Sadly, Joe always had to have Patricia's permission to ship or send anything. Obviously Patricia didn't approve of the letters, meaning Patrick was always disappointed when he never received a letter in return.

He found out why he never heard from Pete when he accidentally eavesdropped on Joe and Patricia's conversations. Well, not exactly. He saw them chatting and read their lips. He gritted his teeth and balled his fist, trying his hardest to contain his anger before silently walking back upstairs to his room.

~~~~~

Joe was never the best hider, lets face it. Patrick easily found his laptop in his translator's room, tucked under his guitar. He snatched it and flipped it open, turning it on. He logged into his email, beaming when he was an email from his boyfriend. He clicked on it excitedly and read it quickly.

'I know we haven't talked in a while. I don't know how to tell you this, but I've found someone else....please forget about me'

Patrick stared at the message , rereading it a few more times before slamming the laptop shut. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't really expecting Pete to let him go like that. He tried to keep himself from crying yet again, reminding himself that Pete was happy now with another person. Someone better than Patrick himself. Someone who could hear and talk to him. He felt the tears streaming down his face as he ran back to his bedroom.

Patricia, who saw her son run up to his room, smirked as she turned off her phone. She pocked it and followed Patrick upstairs. Patrick's door was luckily unlocked. 

Patrick leaned on the headboard, arms wrapped around his legs and head resting on his knees.

He jumped when he felt his mom's hand on his shoulder. He looked at her with puffy eyes.

"I read the email" Patricia says softly, hiding the amusement.

Patrick sniffs and sighs.

"You know, sometimes I forget what it was like for me growing up"

Patrick stared longingly.

"I don't think we did your 28th birthday right. I'd like another chance. What do you say? How about I throw you a birthday party, huh? Please?"

Patrick offered a small smile and nodded. Patricia smiled.

"Now, how about we go shopping? You know, buy a few cardigans and the hats you like?"

Patrick smiles and nods again. Patricia brought him into a hug, kissing his head. She rubbed his back, whispering soothing words into his hair.  
~~~~~

'hey andy. how was your trip?'

Pete had just gotten off of work. He was bored out of his mind, since Gabe was taking Bill on some sort of date.

'Hey Pete! Trip was great, thanks for asking. Well besides having to spend the whole time with my parents the whole time. It's kind of boring sometimes'

Pete laughs at Andy's response and begins to type.

'lol that must suck sometimes. btw, have you heard anything from trick? do you know when he gets back from his trip?'

'Trip? He's not there?'

Pete raised an eyebrow.

'i would've thought he told you'

'I thought he was suppose to stay for a while??'

Pete immediately dug his phone out of his pocket and calls Andy.

"I don't know what's going on, man. He's not answering any of my emails" Andy says.

"Wait, he's on right now?"

"Yeah. Can't you see? The little green light is on"

Pete double checked again before replying.

"I, no I can't"

"You know what? I'll check on him tomorrow"

"How? I thought he was in Europe"

"No. Didn't he tell you? He called me saying he wasn't going anywhere. That he was staying with you, but since he isn't there in your apartment, he must be at his parent's house"

"Well clearly he didn't stay. He didn't even say goodbye!"

"Pete please calm down, alright? I'll go to his house tomorrow and see if he's there or not"

"Could you give me his address?"

"37321 Anne Rd. But Pete, I wouldn't go-"

"I'm worried, Andy, alright?! I haven't seen him or heard from him in over a month"

"I know, Pete, but still-"

"I just have to see him..." Pete's voice cracked at the end.

Andy sighs into the phone.

"Good luck, Pete. Just don't do anything stupid and be careful"


	9. Why don't you want to see me?

As promised, Patricia did throw Patrick his 28th birthday party. It was much too elegant and crowded for Patrick's taste, but he didn't dare say a word. He didn't want to sound ungrateful.

Pete pulled up in a taxi. After taking a glimpse of the Stumph household, he wondered why Patrick even thought about living at an apartment.'House' wasn't exactly the correct term. It was really more of a mansion. 

He told the driver to wait there as he walked through the open gates. The music wasn't upbeat and definitely not his taste. It was instrumental classic music.

However, once he stepped in the Stumph household, he was completely aware of how undressed he was for whatever occasion that was going on. He wore ripped jeans, his black beat-up converse, and a black slightly faded Metallica shirt while everyone wore suits and dresses. He got everyone's attention and a few dirty looks. 

And he also got Patricia's attention, who was currently walking his way.

"Patrick's not here" she says.

He knew it was just best to play along.

"Still in Europe, huh?"

The sound of footsteps came from downstairs. Pete immediately turns to it, eyes widening when he sees it'a Patrick himself in his own elegant suit.

Pete tries to walk up to him, really, but Patricia got in his way.

"He doesn't want to see you"

"Then let him tell me that" Pete shots back.

He turns back to Patrick.

"Do you not want to see me?" He signs and says.

Patricia stares at her son expectantly. Patrick sucks in a breath and shakes his head slowly.

Pete scoffs.

"I don't understand" 

"Get out of here before I call the cops" Patrick's step dad threatened.

"No. I won't leave until he tells me what I did wrong!"

"You need to leave, sir!" Someone else shouts.

Pete ignored the commotion around him and kept questioning Patrick.

"Why don't you want to see me?"

"You need to-"

"No! I won't leave until he tells me to!" Pete yells.

Patrick doesn't say or sign a word. He simply turns around and runs upstairs.

"Get this man out of my house!" Patrick's step dad demands.

Many pairs of arms grabbed a hold of Pete from everywhere.

"Let me go! I'm not leaving until he tells me why he doesn't like me!"

"He's trying to forget about you" Patricia hissed.

About 5 men dragged him outside, throwing him carelessly on their lawn.

Pete stood up and took one last look at the house before walking back to the taxi.

Little did he know, Patrick watched his every move, tears threatening to spill.

"He found someone else, remember?" His mom whispered in a soothing voice, rubbing his shoulder.

Patrick nodded. Pete had apparently found someone better than him. 

Someone who could understand him and listen.

~~~~~

"Patrick, meet the Richardsons" Patricia calls when she spots her son making his way through the patio. 

"This is Hank, your dad's (Patrick hated when he called that heartless bastard his 'dad') friend from work and beside him is his wife"

Patrick smiled and shook their hand. It was simply a couple and their son who was about the same age as him.

"And this handsome young man is their successful son, Jake" Patricia made sure to add emphasise to 'successful'. Patrick mentally rolls his eyes.

"Oh Mrs. Stumph, let's not exaggerate" 'Jake' says with a small laugh before turning to Patrick.

He wasn't bad. He was blonde with blue eyes. Not exactly Patrick's type, though.

He smiles softly at Patrick, giving his hand a small squeeze.

"It is a pleasure meeting you" Jake says loudly and slowly.

Patrick obviously just knew he was speaking a bit too slow. He stared at Jake strangely and retreated his hand from his grasp. Patricia tapped his arm.

"Patrick, why don't you show Jake upstairs while I make Mr. And Mrs. Richardson a cup of coffee?"


	10. Chapter 10

Turns out Jake's more of a douche than Patrick thought.

They went upstairs. Jake pulled them into an unoccupied room, fishing his phone out of his pocket. He left the door slightly opened, not all the way closed but not agape.

"I'm going to make a phone call" he says just as slowly as before.

Patrick nods in response, taking a seat on the recliner.

Jake pressed a few buttons before pressing it to his ear. His lips quirked up and began to speak. 

Patrick tried not to be so nosy but he couldn't help it. He kinda wishes he could use a phone, so he could actually talk to Andy, or maybe Joe, and...

But then, Jake laughs, and Patrick swears he read his name coming from the other's lips.

It was hard to sit and watch when Jake spoke so negatively about him on the phone. About how weak he seemed, shy, scared, vulnerable. Jake also mention how 'hot' he was and the 'things' he'd do to him. 

Patrick tried to stay as calm as possible. However, on the inside, he was panicking. He was indeed afraid of what Jake might do to him with his occasional laughing, smirking, and lip biting when he glanced over. Patrick sunk deeper into the recliner.

Jake finally got off the phone and shot Patrick a smile. Patrick smiled back nervously and made a stand to at least get outside before Jake tried to pull off anything.

"Hey, where ya going?" Jake asks, slightly pushing Patrick right back down and slamming the door all the way shut. Patrick stood up quickly and made a motion towards the door.

"Not so fast, sunshine. Not yet"

Jake cupped Patrick's check, smiling softly and slowly leaning in until his lips made contact with the corner of Patrick's lips. Patrick's breath hitched as he tried to back away. Jake grinned and gripped the latter's arms as he leaned it to nibble Patrick's neck. Patrick tried pulling back, but Jake was strong. Jake grunted when Patrick accidentally brushed his hand against the other man's crotch. The other man slammed Patrick against the wall, beginning to unbutton his cardigan while forcing his tongue down Patrick's throat. Thankfully, Patrick had a chance to knee him where the sun doesn't shine. Jake doubled over in pain, which Patrick took the chance to push him to the ground and run out of there.

~~~~~

"I'm not quite sure what happened, Mrs. Stumph. I guess he just needed some time alone" Jake says when he and his parents are about ready to leave.

"I'm extremely sorry, Jake. It takes some time for him to warm up to people, but I'm sure he'll come around"

"Not a problem, Mrs. Stumph"

Patrick watched the scene from upstairs, crying silently from the event a while ago. He had his arms wrapped around himself, watching the exchange of dialogue between his mom and the Richardsons.

He watches their car leave and his mom come back in. He braces himself for whatever his mom has to say, wiping at his eyes furiously and sniffing.

He senses her behind him and turns to look at her. Patricia is most definitely frowning.

"Don't you ever embarrass me like that again"

Patrick mental scoffs. She wouldn't say that if she knew what happened, Patrick though. Patrick frowned back and stormed to his room.

~~~~~

"You gotta let him go, Pete. Sometimes you care about someone and for whatever reason they don't feel the same way. There's nothing you can do. And you might not want to hear this, but there's a lot of guys and girls out there you can fall in love with"

Pete rolls his eyes while Gabe continues talking.

"The right one will come along but you can't force it"

"Gabe, everything inside me yells that he's the right one" Pete adds.

"Hey, he isn't the right one is he doesn't appreciate you"

"Order up!" One of the cooks interrupts.

"Come on, Petey, who's the one that told me there's always some good that can come out of anything?"

"Yea well sometimes it's harder to see that" Pete retorts.

"I don't mean to sound so cheesy, but just thing about all the great things. You and I both know there's no better inspiration than love"

"Yea" Pete mutters as Gabe grabs the meal and leaves to give it to it's corresponding customer.

~~~~~

"I don't know if I might be wasting time but do you think you could ask Patrick to come? It'd really mean a lot if he was there" Pete asks Andy over the phone.

He types the last details to the document.

'Anthony's Café Live Mic Night 7-25-12'

"We'll be there"

~~~~~

"My pole!" Gabe yells as he tapes one of the posters as quickly as possible on said pole.

"Damn it, Gabe!" Pete curses with a laugh.

Pete sticks a piece of tape on a poster and slaps it on Gabe's back before taking off. Gabe looks over his shoulder and smirk before chasing after his best friend.

They played and taped posters over ever place they could think of.

~~~~~

Andy had told Patrick about his plan last night, to which he agreed. He was nervous, though. What if Pete's new boyfriend or girlfriend was there? What if Pete asked him why he showed up?

He went downstairs to retrieve his jacket for tonight. He was coming down the stairs when he spotted a small blue box right beside the jacket. He throws his jacket over his shoulder and slowly opens the box out of curiosity. He takes a peek and caught a glimpse of a red envelope. 

That's when he realized they were the envelopes he wrote for Pete. He took them out and shuffled through them. Surely enough, they were. He dropped them back in the box and closed it. He grabbed the box and stormed to the kitchen, dropping it on the counter in front of his mom and Joe.

Patricia eyed the box before opening it. She looked through it, frowning and looking up.

"It was for your own protection"

Patrick crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"Don't get irrational. You can't end up with someone like that"

Patrick doesn't say a word. He glared at her before leaving.

Patricia glares at Joe when her son's out of earshot.

"I told you to get rid of them!"

"I didn't think he'd-"

"Fix it!" Patricia scowls before storming out herself.

Joe smirks when she's gone, glad his plan actually worked.

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Patrick was in his own room, copying and pasting Pete's last 'message' and sending it to him.

'Did you write this?' He added.

However, when Patrick hit send, it wouldnt, claiming the email didn't exist.

And that's when it hit Patrick.

His mom created a replica of his boyfriend's email and deleted the actual one.

But he was also happy.

That meant he and Pete were still dating, right?


	11. Chapter 11

Patricia obviously had no idea Patrick knew about the email. Patrick knew about her unsuccessful intention of getting him to hate Pete. 

Patrick doesn’t think he could developed hatred for Pete even if he tried. Single or not, Patrick loved him.

He thought it’d be best if he kept what he found out about the email a secret. It was bad enough the way he reacted to the unsent letters (could you blame him though?). He wouldn’t want to loose the privilege of at least having Andy come over just because his mother had enough of his attitude. 

Andy was the only person who could fill him in about Pete and keep tabs on him. Yet, he hadn’t quite figured out anything about Pete’s maybe new lover (although the email was fake, he couldn’t help but wonder if Pete actually moved on).

Anyway, today was the day he’d go to the Liv Mic Night at the café. He also wanted to see Pete before it started. Patricia had no idea, of course, and Andy and Patrick had to come up with a story to cover it all up.

Like this one.

“Mrs. Stumph, Patrick and I were wondering if we could head to the record store on Greenwich Avenue before the movie? Andy asks. Patrick nods excitedly. 

~~~~~

"You boys have fun” Patricia says, handing Patrick her credit card through the car window.

They made sure the limo was completely out of sight before jogging as quickly as they could to the café. Patrick couldn’t contain the breathy laughs at the thought of seeing Pete. Andy flashed him a grin, receiving one back. He hadn’t seen Patrick this happy in a while. He always seemed down and gloomy, not a hint of happiness.

Nothing compared to the times Andy saw him with Pete. Or now.

“You ready?”

Patrick nodded quickly.

They slowed down at the corner where the café would be located.

Unfortunately, they never expected Patrick’s mom to stand in their way when they turned the corner.

~~~~~

Pete was nervous. Although Andy assured Patrick would be there, what if he wasn’t? What if Patrick turned down Andy’s invitation?

Pete himself had signed up for the Liv Mic tonight. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You ready for this, man?”

“I guess”

Gabe frowned.

“Then why the long face?”

“What if he’s not coming, Gabe?” Pete muttered, scowling his shoes.

“Chill, man. You never know. He might”

“He doesn’t even want to see me” Pete spat.

“Then why did you invite him? Because you’re Pete Wentz and you don’t give a damn if he hates your guts as long as you get a glimpse of him”

Pete keeps his mouth shut. He hears Gabe sigh and walk away. He glanced at the clock.

Only 10 minutes before the first performance starts.

~~~~~

First up was a guy named Tyler Joseph, who would preform a cover of ‘Cant Help Falling In Love’

Tyler strummed his ukulele and began to sing.

He had a good voice, Pete had to admit. The song had been covered many times by different artists, but this guy had to be the best Pete had ever heard. 

Flashbacks of him and Patrick replayed in him mind, remembering those happy times before Patrick’s mother had to come across them. 

This would possibly be the only time Pete actually appreciated school, if it meant having Patrick by his side. Hell, now he wishes school was never-ending. Think about all the good times he spent with Patrick. It wouldn’t have to be over if it weren’t for the summer (which is now by far Pete’s least favorite season). He and Patrick could’ve been enjoying Live Mic Night together, holding hands, Patrick’s head on his shoulder.

Pete really hates his boyfriend’s mom. More than he hates Joe. Joe's a bit more tolerable.

Tyler finished off his performance and bowed, shyly walking off the stage where a guy with red, curly hair awaited him. Red hair guy enveloped Tyler in a hug, whispering something what Pete guessed was sweet, judging by Tyler’s beet red face.

Kinda reminds him of himself making his own lover blush. Red was a good color on Patrick. Blue was definitely better on him, though.

“Dude, you’re up next” Gabe says, waking him from his thoughts.

Pete sighs heavily before practically dragging himself upstage. What he was about to preform wasn’t about happy memories. They were about scars and wounds. That may sound cliché, but Pete had nothing gleeful to talk about.

He cleared his throat when he reached the microphone.

“Hi, and uh-thanks for coming, I guess. I’m just going to, well, read you one of my poems that I write at about 4 AM each night. This goes out to a special, uh-person. You know who you are if you’re watching”

The surprisingly large crowd murmured amongst each other. Someone waved from the back. Pete slightly smiled when he saw it was Andy, though Patrick nowhere to be seen.

"From day one I talked about getting out  
But not forgetting about  
How my worst fears are letting out   
He said ‘Why put a new address  
On the same old loneliness?"

Luckily for Pete, everyone was silent, drawn by his choice of wording.

"When breathing just passes the time  
Until we all get old and die"

Pete’s voice was becoming desperate to let these words out, let these people know what he wants them to hear.

"Now talking's just a waste of breath  
And living’s just a waste of death  
And why put a new address  
On the same old loneliness"

Pete’s voice soften on the last lines of his depressing poem.

"And this is you and me, and me and you  
Until we’ve got nothing left”

He searched the crowd for Patrick with no such luck. Without another word, he sighed and slowly made his way down. A blonde girl began to clap. Pete froze when a few others followed her lead, until the whole crowd erupted in applause. 

“Pete!”

Pete turned to the source of the voice. Andy pushed himself through the crowd.

“That was an amazing poem. Really touching”

“Thanks, Andy” Pete says, offering him a small smile.

“You know, Patrick really wanted to be here. He tried his best. We were right around the corner-“

“Andy, listen. I’m sick of hearing the same story. He’s old enough to make his own decisions. If he wanted to be here, he would’ve been”

Pete turns away from him and exits the café.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm completely sorry for all the late updates. School has really been tough on me.

Maybe it was for temptation, but Patrick's step-dad thought lunch at the café would be a splendid idea. 

With the Richardson family.

"Oh god" Gabe muttered when he saw them sit at the exact table they chose last time. He fixed his apron and was just about to head towards their table when Pete beat him to it, his expression completely emotionless.

Gabe knew it was intentional.

Pete knew very well Patrick was trying to avoid all eye contact with him. It hurt him to know that was the truth. But it also angered him.

"May I have your order?"

"We'll have an order of chicken wings to start, and around of waters" Patrick's step-dad says, ignoring the waiter's glare.

Pete was never the one to keep his cool, and maybe it wasn't the best move, but he untied his apron and threw it at the other man's chest before heading out the door.

"Shit" Gabe muttered, walking up to their table and grabbing the apron, apologizing repeatedly.

"I'm extremely sorry, sir. He's not having the best day. May you repeat your order?"

Patrick's step-dad rolled his eyes and repeated the order slowly, as if speaking to a 5-year old child. 

Patrick wordlessly stood up and ran towards the door, pushing it open and checking both ways, hoping he'd see his boyfriend (?).

"Patrick, what in gods name do you think you're doing?!" Patricia exclaimed, gripping Patrick's arm. Patrick gasps and tried to free himself, fighting against her. His step-dad came out and grabbed hold of his other arm.

They were clearly making a scene.Patricia let go of her son and assuring the nearby pedestrians "everything's alright. He's just acting up"

"He's normally a very sweet boy and extremely obe-" she was cut off by what might've been the sound of a slap and a pained groaned from the step-dad.

"Get in the car" she gritted, glaring daggers at her son. Patrick doesn't. Instead, he glares back and flips her off before running away, in hopes of finding Pete at his apartment.

"Damn it, Patrick" she muttered before getting in the car.

~~~~~

Patrick ran as fast as his legs could take him. He was thankful that he recognized the streets, meaning Pete's apartment was nearby.

Eventually, he got to the apartment building. He didn't even greet the door man when he passed (ran) by. 

Thankfully, Pete's apartment was only on the second floor. He knocked desperately, breathing heavily. 

The door never opens. 

He let's out a broken sob, banging weakly against the wooden door, only to receive the same response. He considered shouting his name, but decided against it. He hasn't used his voice in a long time. Pete never heard his voice, anyway. How would he recognize him?

"Patrick, lets go" his mom's voice gritted, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the apartment door. 

Patrick didn't fight against her this time. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was just too devastated to put up with his family right now.

~~~~~

Joe was alone in the Stumph household, cleaning the place the best he could. Cleaning was most definitely not his thing, in all honesty. 

He grabbed the stack of junk mail and opened the trash lid. However, before he dumped them, something caught his eye. 

It was a white envelope with Patrick's name on it. Out of curiosity, he took it out and dumped the others in the bin while he examined the envelope. 

The top right corner read 'Chicago Otolaryngology Associates' along with their address. Joe had no idea what it meant but he knew it had to be important, since it did have to do with something medical. He kept the envelope and decided to show it to Patrick when he and his family came home.

Little did he know, they weren't going to back for a while.

~~~~~

After a bit of breathing exercises, Pete walked out of the allyway he'd stopped to rest and made his way back to the café. 

He regrets running out of the café. He knows he should've talked to Patrick first, to clear things up. Ask where he's been. He feels stupid for not doing so. Everything's been making a bit more sense. Pete's pretty sure that Patrick was just as depressed as himself. That maybe Patrick's threatened to forget about Pete. He cares about Patrick too much to let him go so easily. Patrick's mom was always the one against their relationship. Maybe she had to do with the fact that he never saw Patrick? Maybe she was the one who set him up with the other guy.

But then again, Patrick's better off with that other guy, anyway. Patrick didn't seem in the mood to see Pete, either. Maybe Pete should give up. Clearly Patrick was happy without him. He was with someone much richer and better-looking. He probably took better care of Patrick. 

All of these negative thoughts filled Pete's head. He would've walked past the café if it wasn't for Gabe, who pulled him back.

"Dude, where were you?!"

Pete yanked his arm back and frowned.

"Why?"

"Patrick's looking for you, man!"

Pete scoffs.

"Sure. He was looking for me, alright. He didn't even want to see me!"

"You don't understand, Pete. It's the mom, bro. She's the one doing all of this. The one who's preventing him from ever hanging out with you!"

Pete glares before he sighs and slowly nods.

"Kinda figured"

"Dude, we saw him punch the shit out of his step-dad and wouldn't let his mom take him back to their car when he tried running after you. Everyone saw everything"

And what else was Pete suppose to say? He wouldn't believe Patrick would do all that just to run after him.

"Patrick's a mess without you, man. His eyes don't even have that gleam of hope when he hung out with you. You don't, either. Don't you understand? You made him feel worthy despite his disease"

"What happened to the whole 'I gotta let him go, there's a lot of guys and girls I can fall in love with' and all that crap?" Pete questions. He just sort of asked out of curiosity. He was convinced Patrick wanted him back just as much as he wanted Patrick.

"Man, you know better than to believe what I say. You were right. Patrick's the one, Pete"

"Which way did he go?" Pete asks.

"I think he headed to your apartment" Gabe says, pointing towards said direction.

"He still loves you, Petey" Gabe continues.

"I'm going after him" was all Pete says before taking off.

Then he remembers his job and stops short, turning around.

"Wait! Should I-?"

"Go, man! I'll cover your shift. Just don't let him get away from you" Gabe shouts back.

Pete smiles for the first time in a while and turns back around, running towards his apartment. He ignored all questioning looks shot his way and ran as fast as he could. He hoped Patrick was still there. Pete had a lot of explaining to do. He isn't quite sure if Patrick's mad at him or anything, but it's best to make sure. They could fix all of this and hope for the best. Hell, he could figure out if he really wants to be with that other guy.

By the time he got to his apartment building, he was short of breath. The distance between the apartment building and the café was not so short. He walked inside and was about to take the elevator when Spencer called him.

Pete blinked and walked to the front desk.

"Pete, I think your boyfriend's been looking for you. He handed me this note with your name on it before walking out"

Spencer roamed through his desk drawer and brought out a small note. He made sure Pete's name was on it before handing it to him.

"He dropped it intentionally when his mom dragged him out"

Pete took the note and examined it.

"Thanks Spence"

"No problem, Pete. One question though: are things between you two alright? He seemed worn out and anxious when he came by. You don't look so different"

"It's a long story, Spencer, but I'm going to fix it" 

Spencer smiles.

"Good luck then, Pete"

Pete pushed the up button on the elevator and stepped inside when it slid open.

The note felt heavy against his pocket, but he wanted to open the note once he got to his apartment.

The elevator made a small 'ding' before opening. Pete took a deep breath and walked passed the closed doors until he found his own.

He didn't keep the promise he made to himself. Before even unlocking the door, he pulled the note out and quickly unfolded it.

'I still love you. I don't know about you. I don't know if you've completely forgotten about me, but I haven't. I love you, Pete.

-Trick'

He was glad he didn't wait a while longer. He reread the note in case he'd misread something.

He hadn't.

Patrick still loved him. And Pete was completely sure he loved him, too.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fill-in chapter. Beware: I did not take the time to look over it for grammar errors or anything so...

Joe opened the letter and scammed through it. It was only a matter of time before he realized what the letter read.

It was something about Patrick deciding against a Cochlear Implant surgery. One Joe’s sure he or Patrick had never heard about. And there was only one person who could’ve been responsible. The rest mentioned the benefits of the surgery. He knew Patrick was not going to be happy when he heard about the letter.

The Stumph arrived just as he was about done reading, the Richardson thankfully gone. Joe cursed under his breath, not really expecting them to come home before he even hid the letter. He got through enough information to know what this was about, and honestly, he couldn’t believe Patricia would do such a thing. He tucked it in his pocket as best as he could before he came into view.

“Welcome back” he greets, faking a smile.

“Did you clean like I asked you?” Mrs. Stumph asked.

“Yes, ma’am” 

“Alright then. Patrick, go to your room. You deserve it”

The boy nods slowly and walked upstairs, hands in his pockets. Joe watches him leave, feeling bad for his friend.

“Don’t worry about him, Joe. He’s just having a bad day” Patricia assures.

Joe nods understandingly, his gaze settling upstairs.

“I’m going outside. I need some fresh air” Patricia claims before walking past Joe.

He made sure she was completely out of sight before rushing upstairs. The door was ajar, making it easier for Joe to enter without frightening his friend.

Patrick sat on the window sill, staring out at, what seemed to be, nothing at all. He caught sight of Joe and stared at him for a while before going back to gazing out the window. Joe made his way across the room until he reached the blonde. He reached for the letter in his back pocket and handed it to Patrick. The blonde’s eyes filled with confusion, which soon turned to curiosity. 

“What is this?” he signs.

“Read it” Joe replies, both vocally and physically. 

Patrick examined the folded paper in his hand, looks back at Joe, and then decided to finally unfold the letter. 

His eyes scan the letter word for word. As he read it, his expression darkened. You could see the fury and disbelief in his eyes as he read.

“Where did you get this?” he signed.

“It was in the trash. I just saw it and it caught my attention” Joe signs back.

He sucked in a breath and frowned, handing the letter back to Joe and standing up from his window still. Joe watches him leave before deciding to follow him.

Patrick practically stomped the whole way, gripping the letter tightly. 

Patricia heard the slam of the front door and immediately turned her head towards the source of the sound.

“Patrick?” she calls.

She then noticed her son’s facial expression, aware that something bad happened.

“Sweetie, is everything alright?” she asks, standing up from the bench she sat on and making her way to the blonde boy. 

Patrick stood right in front of her, a few inches away from his mom. Patricia’s eyes adverted to the paper gripped tightly in Patrick’s hand.

“What’s this?” Patricia asks, taking the crumpled letter from his hand. She smoothed it out as best as she could and scanned through it.

“Oh” she muttered, folding the letter.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Patrick signs, his hands moving hastily. Joe repeated the words vocally, since Patrick’s mom knew nothing about sign language.

Patricia was at lost of words. She watched as her son became impatient and exasperated. 

“They said it would permanently damage your ears!” she protested.

“My ears are ruined!” Joe translates.

“How do you make that decision without telling me?” he continues, “It’s not your decision to make. It’s mine! It’s my life, mom!”

Patricia remained speechless as Patrick’s hand moved furiously, Joe catching every word.

“That’s why you never learned sign language or let me learn as a child! That’s why I need this stupid interpreter-“ Patrick smiled apologetically at Joe, who in return, raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“And that’s why you never told me about this surgery. You don’t want me to hear. You don’t want to loose your control!”

“Well you just lost it” Patrick says, yes, as in vocally. He flinched at the sound of his own voice, for it sounded croaky but quite abnormal to him, due to lack of use. He hadn’t used his voice since he was a kid. He willed himself to speak more. He had to put his mom back in her place

“I don’t need an interpreter anymore, and I don’t need you anymore-“

“Oh, you need me more than ever” Patricia snarls. 

“Who’s going to support you?” she continues, “Your loser boyfriend? Who’s going to pay for your education?”

“I’m not going to back to school. I’m going to study music!” Patrick says, his vocal cords not quite being used to the…well, use.

Patricia snickers.

“Always been a dreamer. Just like your father”

“That’s right, because dreams do come true, mom! If you fight for them. Dad knew that. Despite all you did to stop it, I’m in love. And I’m going to hear again, whether you like it or not. I’m going to play music, just like dad, and there is nothing you can do to stop me anymore!”

Patrick’s voice had rose with every word, fighting to bring out the words he’s been trying to let out this whole time.

He turns around and walks to the Joe’s car, Joe following close behind.

“Where do you think your going?” Patricia asked the curly-haired man.

“To correct a mistake I made a long time ago” he answers, getting in the driver’s seat and closing the door. He started the car and pulled down the windows.

“He’s 28. Loosen the reigns a little!” he shouts.

“Get out of that car or you’re fired” Patricia threatened.

Joe chuckles.

“I quit” he simply says before beginning to drive out of the Stumph driveway.

“Joe, get back here! That’s my son!” she shouts, her voice cracking. However, she can only watch them leave, the car driving further and further until it makes a turn.


	14. Chapter 14

Pete told Gabe all about the note that night. Gabe soon found himself in his best friend’s apartment.

 

“So what are you going to do now?” he asks as he sat himself on Pete’s couch and began channel surfing.

 

“What do you mean what am I going to do now?” Pete questions as he sat himself beside the taller boy.

 

Gabe tilts his head.

 

“Well, aren’t you guys going to meet up? You know, for like a date or something?”

 

“Gabe, I told you I didn’t see him. He simply left me a note”

 

“Ok, but don’t you have his email?”

 

Pete sighs and says, “His mom blocked me. You know there's no way to unblock someone once they're blocked”

 

Gabe frowned.

 

“Ouch. Well you guys do have to find a way to talk it out somehow”

 

“I just hopes he comes by the café tomorrow”

 

“Dido, man. I can’t stand to see you like this anymore” Gabe admitted, turning to his friend.

 

“You’re just not you. The overly-excited Pete Wentz I know” he continues.

 

Pete shrugs as a small silence settled between them. Gabe kept the channel on some sort of rom-com. He wasn’t into those things, Pete knew. Maybe the clicking of the remote was just irritating.

 

“Want a beer?” Gabe asks, breaking the silence.

 

“No thanks, dude” Pete answers.

 

Gabe shrugs and stands, heading towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge and brought out the 12-pack he brought over.

 

On his way back to the couch, his eyes landed on the recycling bin beside the kitchen island. It was full, mostly containing newspapers.

 

“You buy the newspaper single everyday, don’t you?” Gabe teases.

 

“Yeah” Pete simply says.

 

“And you throw them in there all the time, right?”

 

“Yep”

 

“Do you ever read it?

 

“Nope”

 

Gabe chuckles and asks, “then why do you buy it?”

 

“I like the guy who sells them. He’s nice” Pete responds, unamused by Gabe’s teasing. 

 

“You like the guy who sells them?” Gabe deadpans playfully.

 

“Yeah. His name is George”

 

“Why don’t you just get the paper from the store?”

 

“Because he’s a great guy who just needs a little bit of help. You know, he could be out begging for change, but he’s not. Instead, he makes his money by selling papers. No one supports him. I mean, no one wants to buy a paper from a man who looks the way he does. They’d rather get it from the store or a newsstand or one of those dispensers or something. All he needs is someone who can count on him for the daily paper”

 

Gabe smiles at Pete’s small speech. He grabbed one of the said newspapers and examines it. It was a regular paper, just like any other you’d find.

 

“Does it have a sports section?” Gabe asks.

 

Pete shrugs.

 

“I don’t know. I never actually read it”

 

“Entertainment?”

 

“I don’t think so?”

 

Gabe chuckles.

 

“Well, don’t worry. I can surely put it to good use”

 

He tucks the paper under his arm and walks to the bathroom.

 

“Give it a courtesy flush this time, man!” Pete warns jokingly (not really). 

 

“Yeah, whatever” his best friend calls, followed by the slam of the door.

 

Pete chuckles at his antics, fiddling with his hands. There wasn’t much he could do here for entertainment, other than write his usual self-depressed words in an overflowed notebook or watch TV. He hated being alone. Thankfully, Gabe knew all about it, so he spent most of his time in Pete’s apartment. Not many people visit him. It was just Gabe and…

 

He groaned before running his hands through his hair. He had to stop thinking about Patrick the whole time. His mind has to stop chanting ‘Patrick Patrick Patrick” the whole damn time. It only caused him more misery and self-destructing words he couldn’t deal with.

 

He rubs the spot under his eyes. He’s been extremely exhausted these past days, and due to his insomnia, he hasn’t gotten much sleep. It wasn’t just that, though. He hasn’t been feeling well, either. Neither physically nor emotionally. He constantly got terrible headaches and some that he’d even consider migraines.

 

Suddenly, everything blurred around him, and a migraine began to form. He could hardly make out any furniture in his apartment. He could see lights, though. More lights than he owned. They flashed, kind of like those visits to the doctor, when he flashed your eye with flashlights. He tried to make it stand, but he couldn’t. His head hurt too much for that. He would’ve called for Gabe, but it everything seemed to malfunction.

 

All of the sudden, he fell. He didn’t know when or how, he just found himself on the floor. He started to shake uncontrollably, unable to control himself. He had no idea what was going on or why he had no control of his body. He didn’t like this feeling. He felt vulnerable, weak, and powerless.

 

He was, however, able to hear the flush of the toilet and the bathroom door open, followed by the sound of Gabe’s voice.

 

“You should really take the time to read-“

 

He chose that exact time to look up from the newspaper. He dropped the paper and crouched next to the other boy, grabbing him by his shoulders.

 

“Pete, listen to me buddy!” Gabe called.

 

His voice was distant to Pete, as if he wasn’t going through a life or death situation. He wanted to shout back, see if Gabe could hear him.

 

He wanted to tell him he needed help, to end his life. All he could manage was incomprehensible groaning.

 

Gabe dug through his pocket, in search of his phone. He immediately dialed the three digit number. He didn’t even let the lady on the other line finish her question before he cut her off.

 

“My friend’s going through a seizure! Just please hurry, alright?!” Gabe shouts.

 

“Sir, please calm down and tell me where you’re located”

 

“1054 on Jameson Avenue, apartment 210. Just hurry!”

 

Gabe carelessly threw his phone on the couch, much more concerned in the safety of his best friend.

 

“They’re on their way, dude. Just hand on” Gabe assured.

 

Pete opened his mouth to say something and let out a chocked “Trick”

 

Gabe furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand what Pete means by that simple word.

 

“Pete, what do you mean? What do you need? What are you trying to tell me, man?” Gabe ranted.

 

“Pa-rick!”

 

Gabe sighs and says, “Bro, you know we can’t reach him. But I’ll trying my best, alright? As soon as the ambulance is here, I’ll try to search him up or ask Andy”

 

The sound of sirens got nearer and nearer. Gabe could hear them outside from the apartment. It’ll take them a while to get to the floor their on, though. Gabe just hoped they’d get up here fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :/
> 
> Also, you guys should check out my friend on Wattpad. Here's a link to one of her stories
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/52371651-meeting-her-changed-my-life


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typed this at school. That's cool, right? I'm suppose to be doing math but frick that. Here's the next chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> BTW, this story is nowhere near ending

Gabe was freaking out. He couldn’t decide whether to stay with Pete or search for Patrick. He wanted to keep a close eye on his best friend, but he also wanted to do what he asked him.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair, debating on what to do. He couldn’t just leave Pete in the hospital by himself. However, if he found Patrick, they’d both be able to watch over him.

Only one question triggered though, how would he find Pete’s boyfriend?

Gabe looked around the apartment, trying to find some source of communication. He regretted not bringing his phone to Pete’s place. Gabe could give their boss his number and ask to call him up when he caught sight of the blonde boy. Patrick had to eventually stop by in search of Pete, right?

Yea. Searching for Patrick sounds like an alright idea.

He roamed through his friend’s apartment. It would’ve maybe ben a tad easier if Pete cared about keeping his apartment clean and tidy. He slightly chuckled. They just had so much in common. That’s how they became friends. They had so much in common, and they just clicked. They had their inside jokes and small things that only they could understand. 

And now his best bud was in the hospital. His best bud who’d gone through a terrible heartbreak. His buddy who had a shitty life in general. Pete would always say he only had him and Patrick. Patrick was nowhere to be found, so guess who’s left? That’s right. Gabe Saporta.

He snapped out of his trace when he heard Pete’s ringtone. He followed the sound, eager to find Pete’s phone. He heard the muffled ringing in the bedroom and finally found it under a mountain of clothes.

The caller ID read Andy Hurley. 

Having no idea whatsoever of who it was, he pressed the answer button. They knew Pete, and they deserved to know what happened to him.

“Pete! Dude-“

“I beg your pardon, but this is not Pete. My name is Gabe and I’m his best friend”

“Oh? Well, do you know where he is? And why do you have his phone, if you don’t mind me asking?

“Pete’s in the hospital. He was having a seizure-“

“Is he okay?!”

“I-I don’t know, but I do have an important question. Do you know his boyfriend, Patrick Stump?

 

Pete awoke to a blinding light right above him. 

He doesn’t remember anything, if he’s being honest with himself. He simply felt fatigued and had a pounding headache. He knows this isn’t some sort of hangover. At least, he doesn’t think so. He doesn’t recall a crazy night.

However, he does hear a muffled conversation from the other room. 

“Can you explain what happened?” an unknown voice asked.

“I don’t know! I walked out of the bathroom and saw him on the floor shaking uncontrollable” a familiar voice says back. Pete recognizes is, though he can’t quite put a name on it

The other voice says something inaudible and then hears the familiar voice say, “But there’s got to be a treatment or something!”

It’s all he can catch before drifting off again. 

 

The next time he awakes, there is no more light, only the sight of the person he loved the most by his bedside.

Patrick sat on the chair beside his hospital bed. He looked so small and innocent. He had his head down, half-asleep.

“You made it” Pete croaked.

Patrick’s head snapped up. He let out a chocked sob and threw his hands around Pete’s body. Pete immediately held his boyfriend tightly as the blonde soaked his shirt with his tears. Pete whispered soothing words into Patrick’s hair, rubbing his back. Patrick pulled back and cupped Pete’s face, crashed his lips into Pete’s. Pete was caught off guard, but his mind quickly processed on what was going on.

Pete kissed him back with just as much intensity. He missed this. He missed Patrick. He missed everything about him and didn’t plan to let him go anytime soon, not if he could stop it. He promised himself that he’d try to keep Patrick forever without letting him or anyone else taking him away

“I missed you so much” Pete murmurs between kisses, rubbing his thumb against Patrick’s pale cheek to dry his previous tears. Patrick hummed against his lips

“Sorry to interrupt your short make out session” Gabe’s voice calls

Patrick quickly pulled back completely, his face flushed. He had that same sparkle in his eyes that were gone for a while. The spark his eyes kept when they cuddled or spent their time together.

“Glad to see you’re up, man” Gabe calls making his way over from the doorway.

“Yeah, I guess” Pete muttered.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fucking tired, man. I have a pounding headache” Pete admitted softly.

Patrick immediately looked guilty.

“No! Babe, don’t worry. It’s fine” Pete interjects, letting out a low chuckle.

Patrick blushes and held his hand, give it a small squeeze and smiling.

“You guys make me sick” Gabe jokes.

Pete laughs and asks, “well, where’s your Billy Baby?”

“My Billy is back at home, thank you very much. I bet he’s missing my daily hugs and kisses” Gabe sighs dramatically.

“Yea, ok” 

Just then, a knock came from the door, interrupting the conversation between the two friends.

A man in a white coat walked in, a clip board in his hands and face blank. He had blonde hair and blue emotionless eyes.

“Hello, Peter. My name is Dr. Fresner. How are you feeling?”

“Just a little tired, doc. Kind of a small headache, too. Nothing major” Pete answers.

Dr. Fresner nodded and flipped through his keyboard, writing down Pete’s condition.

“That’s good to know, Peter. However, I don’t mean to ruin the joyful atmosphere, but I have terrible news”

Pete’s heart rose to his throat. His blood ran cold at the doctor’s sudden words. Patrick’s eyes widen as he turned to Pete. Gabe took a deep breathe and glanced at his best friend.

“Well, what’s wrong with me?” Pete finally asked.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so maybe there's actually a few more chapters, not too much, you know?
> 
> Also, I did not take the time to edit this. Sorry guys.

Pete braced himself for the bad news he knew was coming. Patrick visibly tensed as he stared at the doctor, waiting for him to continue. Gabe simply tried to stay as calm as he could, though on the inside, he was freaking out.

“Go ahead and let me know, doc. Let’s just get it over it” Pete says.

Dr. Fresner eyes showed nothing but pity,

“The cause of your seizure was due to a spreading of an advanced stage of Glioblastoma Multiforme, which is a prime brain tumor. This type of cancer is difficult to treat, especially when deeply rooted”

Patrick let out a sob, gripping Pete’s hand in both of his own. Gabe sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. Pete only waited for Dr. Fresner to continue. The atmosphere around him was so devastating. He always hated it. He hated it more than being alone, in a silent atmosphere. He felt the comfort of Patrick’s warm, soft hands, and that was enough to keep him from cursing his life and himself. If he had to die anytime soon, he might as well not give up during the possibly little time he has left. He still had Patrick and Gabe and many others he’d like to enjoy before everything came to an end.

“Now, Chemo and radiation treatments can improve your health for a number of months, but unfortunately, this cancer seems to relapse in almost all cases”

Patrick was a mess now. He cried into Pete’s chest. Pete didn’t mind the robe soaked in tears. Patrick was too precious to push away. Pete breathed into the strawberry blonde hair, inhaling the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla, as if the smell of Patrick’s hair was the only thing he could breathe.

“There’s an off brand drug on the market. It hasn’t passed FDA approval and is not supported by insurance company policies. It’s very expensive, but it might buy you so much time. It depends. At this stage, could be several months, or even days”

“And what if I don’t take it? Will it make me die quicker?” Pete questions.

“Well, if you’re not taking anything to delay your due date, I suppose so, Mr. Wentz” the doctor says before making his way out. The room was silent once again.

Pete shuts his eyes for a brief moment, his heart and mind racing. He didn’t know if the cancer was a pass down from his mother, but he was sure that he wasn’t ready for this, and he doesn’t think he ever will be. Now here he is, lying on a hospital bed receiving this type of news, the love of his life sobbing into his chest, and his best friend running his hand through his face and hair (which Pete has come to realize is something Gabe does when he’s agitated).

“This is fucked up” Gabe declares, and honestly, Pete couldn’t agree more.

“Pete” Patrick whispers, like, actually whispered.

Of course, since Pete’s never heard his boyfriend actually speak with his voice, he was startled.

“Yea, Trick?” he whispered back, rubbing his back fondly. 

“I-I love you”

And that’s all it took for Pete to break down. He knew he was completely in love with Patrick a little after they started dating. Now, they only had a limited time to show each other the amount of love and care they shared for each other.

“I love you too, Trick. I really do” Pete whispered, letting out a few tears for the first time that night.

“Anything you want to do before the time comes, man?” Gabe asked.

Pete shook his head and kissed the top of Patrick’s head. Patrick sighed in return, snuggling up closer to Pete.

“You guys make me sick. Seriously. You’re all cutesy and stuff. I have to say, you guys are adorable” Gabe admits. 

“Patrick’s the adorable one, really” Pete answers.

Patrick giggles and lifts his gaze to stare Pete directly in the eyes. 

He tried not to think about the day he’d no longer get to see the whiskey-colored irises. 

~~~~~  
Patrick held Pete’s hand as he emptied the continents in his stomach. Patrick sat beside him, leaning against the sink as Pete leaning over the toilet.

Pete tried to steady his breathing, breathing in and out as easily as possible. Patrick rubbed his back, whispering very few comforting words. He was still insecure about his own voice. Pete turned his head slightly, capturing Patrick’s gaze. 

“I’m going to miss you so god damn much, you know?” 

Patrick shook his head furiously, mumbling, “stop”

“Trick, you can’t stop it. No one can. We have to face the truth sometimes”

Patrick only stared, dread written all over his face. Pete gave his hand a firm squeeze and slowly stood up, helping Patrick to his feet as well. 

He leaned over this sink, staring at his own reflection.

He looked extremely tired. His insomnia and the dinner from the night before rising to his throat did nothing to help his need for sleep. He took his toothbrush and rinsed it before adding a bit of toothpaste. He brushed his teeth silently and watched as Patrick made his way beside him, leaning against his shoulder. Pete closed his eyes and rinsed the toothbrush off. He washed his mouth and then took a handful of water, splashing it on his face. 

He heard Patrick gasp and giggle. He opened his eyes and stared at the blonde through the mirror.

Apparently, he had splashed Patrick a bit as well.

His entire face was a little wet, droplet of water running down his face. Pete couldn’t help but let out a laugh of his own. 

Patrick playfully glares as he took a handful of water in his own hands, splashing Pete back, only not so quite accidentally. 

Pete cupped Patrick’s face and crashed his lips against the blonde’s. Patrick giggled softly and happily returned the kiss. Patrick tried to bring him closer, running his hands through Pete’s hair and pulling him in.

They pulled apart after a while in need of oxygen.

“I love you so much, Patrick Stump. I love you so fucking much. What would’ve I’ve done without you?”

Patrick smiled, resting his head against the brunette’s shoulder. Pete wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist, kissing his temple. They stayed like this for a while. They had all the time in the world. At least, it felt like they did.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small heated scene but no smut. It's more of a make out.
> 
> This is the closest to smut I will possibly ever write.

"Pete please" Patrick begged, taking hold of Pete's hand and handing him the daily medications. Before bedtime was the most difficult time forcing Pete to take them.

Pete frowned. It was one of those days where he'd rather not swallow anything that'll supposedly 'make him feel better'. He was dying, so why was it necessary? The quicker he goes, the better. That was just his opinion, though. He doesn't think about the people he'd leave behind. Who knows? Maybe they would be better off without him.

Yeah, despite everything that crossed his mind in the hospital, he'd rather die.

"I don't want to take them" He gritted, clenching his fist and throwing them to the ground. You could tell he was agitated by the way he spoke. It just wasn't the happy, overly excited voice you'd hear often from Pete Wentz.

Patrick only sighed and opened his arms. They've been through this. Angering Pete any further would only make matters worst.

Pete embraced Patrick himself, letting the blonde no choice but to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. Usually Pete would let himself be embraced by Patrick's warmth, cry into his shoulder while Patrick rubbed his back.

"I can't do this" Pete muttered

"You can" Patrick whispers. It would take some time for him to speak louder than a simple whisper.

"How? How do you know?" Pete muttered.

Patrick pulled away and rested his head against the other man's chest.

"I believe" he whispered.

Pete scoffed.

"I'm not worth believing in anymore, Trick"

Patrick was about to protest against his statement before Pete cut him off.

"No, just listen, alright? I don't care about myself anymore. I'd rather focus on the people around me than myself. You, Gabe, and his boyfriend William are practically the only people I have, and I want to be there as much as I can for all three of you. In perhaps a few months, I won't be here, so I need to make the most of it. Again, not for me, but for you three"

Patrick stayed silent and picked up the pills from the floor. He took hold of Pete's hand once again and dropped the three pills onto his palm. He pecked Pete's lips and handed him the bottle of water nearby. The expression on his face was pleading, making the older sigh and pop the pills into his mouth, unscrewing the bottle top and taking a sip. He screwed it back on before handing the bottle back to Patrick, who in return, smiled softly.

Patrick led Pete to bed. The blonde walked to the other side of the bed a laid down. Pete circled his arms around his boyfriend's waist, nuzzling his pale neck. He occasionally left kisses on any bare patch of skin, which included mainly his neck and shoulder blades. They didn't seem like simple kisses, though. Some were even open-mouthed kisses.

Patrick would get goosebumps each time Pete would plant his lips on his skin. He hadn't felt this way before. It was pleasing, though he didn't know how to react. On the other hand, Pete obviously knew what he was doing.

Pete continued kissing his neck until he began to suck on a spot beside his pulse. Patrick moaned softly at the pleasuring feeling. He turned to face the other man and crashed his lips against his, running his hands through Pete's hair.

Pete groaned appreciatively and sucked on the blonde's bottom lip. Patrick gasps, and Pete took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside Patrick's slightly opened mouth.

Pete flipped them over and pinned Patrick's hands against the mattress. He gripped his wrists as he continued to work on the small love bite blooming on Patrick's beautiful pale neck. Patrick whined as Pete ran his tongue over the hickey, biting in the process. Patrick quietly chanted Pete's name as if it were a prayer, as if his name were his only salvation against something terrible. 

Patrick continued moaning as Pete worked on another hickey right above his collarbone. In the meanwhile, he reached for the hem of Patrick's shirt and worked it off with Patrick's help. As soon as the maroon shirt came off, Patrick pulled his arms out of Pete's grasp and wrapped his arms around his torso.

"Trick?" Pete whispered, staring directly into his blue-green eyes.

Patrick made a noise in the back of his throat, tightening his grip around himself.

"Are you ok? Is this too much?" Pete asked softly.

The blonde shook his head, biting his lip.

"Then what's wrong?"

Patrick shook his head furiously, avoiding eye contact.

"Come on, Patrick, just look at me" Pete insists, grabbing his chin and forcing him to meet his own eyes.

Patrick tried not to look away from the whiskey colored eyes.

"You can tell me anything, you know?"

Patrick let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"What's wrong then?" 

"Me" Patrick whispered.

Pete hadn't realized it before, but it hit him at that moment. Patrick was insecure about himself. He had low self esteem and was afraid Pete wouldn't want him after he showed him his bare body.

"Patrick" Pete started, leaning down and peppering kisses all over Patrick's face. 

"Babe, you're perfect. I don't know why you can't see that" he finished off.

Patrick furiously shook his head, muttering a silent yet powerful "no"

Pete sighed and attempted to remove Patrick's arms himself, only for Patrick to tense and grip himself even tighter.

"Patrick, stop it. I love you and I don't care about what your body looks like. I love you for you"

Patrick seemed unsure about Pete's statement, but this was Pete, and he trusted him.

Patrick slowly and cautiously began to unwrap himself, letting his arms fall to his sides and screwing his eyes shut, too afraid to face Pete's reaction.

Honestly, Pete couldn't find a single flaw in Patrick's upper body. He was perfect to him and couldn't see why Patrick couldn't see it from Pete's point of view.

Pete leaned down to kiss every stretch mark on Patrick's abdomen. His eyes snapped open and stared Pete down.

"You're so beautiful, Patrick. I don't understand how you can't see that" Pete states, looking up and staring back.

The brunette made his way back up and kissed Patrick's flushed left cheek. He pulled back and smirked mischievously.

"Now where were we?"

~~~~~

Pete was back to work two days later. While he was at work, Patrick would hang out with Joe and Andy, who'd bug and tease him about the heated event that took place not too long ago. 

Patrick blushed a deep shade of red as Andy and Joe spurted extremely inappropriate questions.

"Did he touch you there?"

"Did you touch him there?"

"How far did you guys get?"

"Did you use protections?"

"Is he big or small?"

"Did you get the you know what in the you know where?"

Patrick huffed and hid his face with one of the couch pillows, face burning.

"Oh, he definitely got some" Joe smirked

Andy laughed and pulled the pillow away from Patrick, hugging it tightly against his chest so Patrick wouldn't attempt to retrieve it. Patrick used his hands once he could no longer hide with the couch pillow.

"Seriously, dude. Give us some details" Andy says, leaning forward, resting his chin on the pillow he yanked from Patrick. Joe nodded rapidly, leaning in.

"Did you like it?" Joe half-whispered.

Patrick's face flushed again, nodding.

"Ha! I knew you'd two would get there" Joe teases.

Patrick smiles shyly and looks down, face still burning.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I'm sorry, guys. I've been watching too much Supernatural lately.

As much as Pete wished to be happy and enjoy his very short life, he simply couldn't. He could no longer live it normally. If he knew he'd eventually be diagnosed with cancer, then maybe he would've tried to enjoy life from the very beginning. He would've traveled around the world and done the most incredible things, dare himself to do the dangerous adventures no one dares to do. He would've lived life at the fullest, and actually consider the saying "Life's too short...", because his life was even shorter, meaning he had to do whatever he wanted soon.

These sort of thoughts always happen in a quiet, peaceful atmosphere, where no one would trick him into thinking everything was alright. It wasn't.

Like the shower, for example.

He'd been standing under the water for quite some time, which he lost track of it.

He sighed heavily and squirted a fair amount of shampoo onto his hand and began to wash his hair. 

He breathed slowly through his nose, enjoying the warmth of the water. 

Something wasn't right, though. Something felt strange. It felt wiry under his finger tips. He ran his hands through his hair and examined them. They were covered in his own hair.

His eyebrows furrowed before running his hands through his hair again and staring at them again. Surely enough, he did come back with more strands of hair.

It was sad to pull chunks of your own hair when you showered. You don't attempt to. You just accidentally pull them out when you're washing your hair. 

Pete watched as the strands of hair slid through the cranks of his fingers with the warm water. He sighed and leaned his head against the shower wall. He felt tears pool at his eyes, streaming out as he weakly punched the wall.

His life was falling apart so quickly. Hell, he'd already planned his future with Patrick. Everything was so well planned, only to come crashing down so quickly. He doesn't understand why he couldn't stay happy for a good period of time. There always had to be some sort of event that ruined his mood. However, it wasn't temporary. This was for the rest of his vaguely short life.

~~~~~

Pete was no fan of devastating news, but then again, no one was.

He received a second seizure in the middle of work. A customer was the one to call 911. The few people in the café came closer, helping in any way they could or simply watching out of curiosity. 

The sirens got closer and closer, though they seemed distant to Pete. They seemed so far away, and so did everyone in the café. All sorts of noises and murmurs were barely audible. He didn't like it.

The next thing he knows, he's lying on a hospital bed again.

He truly hated hospitals.

He's been there because of so many incidents. It was depressing to recall the memories. The color of the walls, doors, the ceiling, even the beds, all white. It made him uncomfortable.

On a complete bright side, Gabe, Patrick, and Bill were standing by his bedside when he awoke.

Bill was trying to comfort Patrick, who was crying into his shoulder, while Bill rubbed his shoulder

"You're awake" Gabe says softly, patting his leg.

Pete grunted in response.

Patrick stepped away from William and took hold of Pete's hand in between his own, squeezing slightly.

"Why am I here?" Pete questioned.

"You had another seizure" Bill answers.

Pete sighed heavily. He's had just about enough. He can't deal with this anymore. He's done.

"A nearby customer called 911. Patrick came in a while later after you passed out. I called up Bill and told him I'd be with you. He offered to come with me" Gabe says.

"Wait, what time is it? At what time did this all happen? What about the café?" Pete rambled.

"It all occurred around 11:30 am. It's currently 8 pm"

"Shit! I was passed out for about nine hours?! What about work?"

"Calm down, Wentz. Boss said he'll be fine. However, you cant go back to work"

"Why?" Pete asked warily.

"You're too sick, man. You're hair's even falling out, too. Just look at your pillow"

Pete turned his head slightly and caught sight of the short strands of hair.

"Oh god" he muttered, rubbing his face with his free hand.

He felt a pair of lips against his forehead. He obviously knew who it was and couldn't help the smile tugging at his lips. He opened his eyes and looked directly into the blue-green eyes of the love of his life.

"I love you, you know?" Pete whispers.

Patrick nods and rubs his boyfriend's hand.

"They're so cute" Will whispered.

Gabe nodded in response, wrapping his arm around his own boyfriend's shoulders.

"It's sad, though. The fact that they won't be able to last"

Gabe nodded again.

"Yeah"


	19. Chapter 19

Pete quits looking back into his life, because, why bother? He was depressed enough. What were the odds of anything making him feel better? 

He'd refuse the hospital cafeteria food constantly. Not only was it shitty, but his body doesn't need it or want it. At least, that's what he thought.

No one could do anything about it. Patrick stared silently as Pete huffed and pushed the food tray away from himself. This wasn't the first time he'd refused food, nor the first time his friends ignored his complaints of 'not hungry'.

He pulled the thin blue covers up and turned around, refusing to meet the younger's eyes.

That, of course, would not keep Patrick away. 

Pete felt fingers thread through his hair, massaging his scalp. He sighed, taking in the scent of the man behind him. The smell of strawberry and vanilla was incredibly soothing, which followed by his occasional humming.

"I don't know how you do it" Pete muttered, loud enough for the blonde to catch.

Patrick hummed questioningly.

"You decide to stay. Why?"

"I love you" Patrick simply mumbled, as if it was the obvious thing in the world (which in his case, it really was).

The brunette groaned and turned to his partner.

"Patrick, look at me. Don't waste your time on me, love. Find someone else to care for you and keep you happy"

"Pete, you do" the blonde mumbled softly, on the verge of tears.

Pete sighs.

"Trick, I know, but I won't be around for much longer. We have to accep-"

"No!" Patrick shouted, cutting Pete off.

Pete was taken back by Patrick's sudden outburst. He'd never heard Patrick shout. That was certainly the loudest Patrick's ever spoken. At least, the loudest he'd witnessed.

The blonde let the tears emerge from his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He wiped his eyes angrily. Pete doesn't understand, and Patrick doesn't know how to explain everything himself. 

"Just stop" he pleads, gripping Pete's hand in his own.

Pete sighs and offers a half smile.

"I'll try"

 

~~~~~

 

Pete never liked to feeling of loneliness. He always felt the need for someone to distract him from his own angsty thoughts. They would constantly get the best of him, and he hated it. It was awful, you know?   
Sometimes he couldn't wait to end everything, including his troubled thoughts and the convincing voices in his head.

He sat near the window, enjoying the view from the top floor his room was located in. All the ruckus was oddly comforting. The cars zooming past each other, the people walking on concrete down below, shop doors opening and closing, it was all music to Pete's ears.

Not until he heard the door open behind him. He mentally groaned as he heard the sound of the wheelchair nearing.

"Time for your next session" he heard the nurse announce.

"I'm done" he grunted.

The nurse hesitates before carefully responding.

"Not yet, Mr. Wentz. Chemotherapy can take several sessio-"

"I said I'm done" Pete gritted.

"Mr Wentz, this can-"

"No! I don't want any of this anymore. Just please leave me alone"

The nurse sighs and leaves the room, pushing the wheelchair along with her.

Chemotherapy was tiring and energy draining, and what good would they do? The cancer was already too advanced. They couldn't do anything about it.

Pete was emotionally done. Physically, almost.

The brunette threw his head back and groaned. He was so tired of everything. He wished this would've never happened. Although he wished to meet death during his teenage years, those were no longer present. He never valued life so much now that he had people to love for.

 

~~~~~

 

It's been a while since he'd heard good news, and maybe faith decided to give him a bit of a break from all the downsides.

He was aloud to go out for a quick walk tomorrow, to get out of the hospital room for the first time in a while. Although it took a little bit of pleading, Dr Fresner gave in. He was aloud to go on a quick stroll with Patrick tomorrow morning. Of course, he had to be covered up, since it's winter and it's very cold in Chicago. Either way, Pete would go out in the cold anyday over being stuck in his hospital room.

Also, he was having quite a good time playing card games with Bill, Gabe, and Patrick. It was actually a couple game where you'd pick a card and answer a question on an index card. Your partner had to guess the answer.

"Okay, Pete. Our turn to guess what our boyfriends would say" Gabe announces as he picks a card from the pile that's located on the small table beside Pete's bedside.

"Boys," he reads, "what's one thing you could always use more of?"

Patrick and William share a quick grin before writing down their answer. Pete and Gabe right their own guess on their card.

"Babe?" Gabe questions, turning to Will.

He held up his card proudly.

"Instruments" he says.

Gabe bit his lip and groaned. However, the irritated face didn't stay on for long. He grinned and held up his own card, having the same answer.

They share a laugh, and Will punches Gabe's shoulder.

"I know your expensive taste" he adds in amusingly.

"Of course you do"

"Alright. You guy's turn" Gabe says, turning to the other couple.

Patrick held up his card.

"Hats" Gabe read aloud.

Pete cursed and held up his own.

"Not books, huh?" Pete asks playfully.

Patrick shook his head, smiling.

"Who even likes books? Really dude?" Gabe questions.

"Hey, it was worth a try!"

"And I like books, you jerk!" William protest, faking a hurt look.

"Aw I'm sorry, babe" Gabe pouted dramatically.

"Yea sure" Will crossed his arms, turning away.

"How can you forgive me?" Gabe asks.

"I don't think there's a way, Gabriel Saporta" Will sighed.

This time completely serious, Gabe took a deep breath and pulled the small, smooth box from his back pocket and flickered it open.

"Perhaps this'll do?" Gabe asked weakly, holding up the box, the ring inside gleaming from the light in the room.

William turned around, a bit puzzled by Gabe's change in mood.

His hands flew to his mouth, trying to silence his gasp.

"Oh my god, Gabey..."

"Will you marry me, babe?" Gabe asked softly, hope filling his eyes.

Will couldn't bring himself to say anything else but nod furiously. He threw his arms around his partner's neck and chanted "I love you"s repeatedly.

"I think that's a yes man" Pete adds playfully.

William pulled back and allowed Gabe to slip the emerald ring on his ring finger.

Patrick grinned at the scene and turned to Pete, his face radiating joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys haven't heard the song Stop and Stare by One Republic or Wait by M83, I recommend then. They sum up the story pretty good.
> 
> Also, I'm extremely sorry for the lack of updates. School keeps me busy and stuff. I've had a lot of projects and test reviews for my End Of Corse (EOC) tests. Hopefully I can update more frequently after I get then over with.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for such a long wait. I posted a small little family moment fic as an apology.

The fact that the nightmares continue during his mostly lonely nights at the hospital makes each night worse.

He would wish for company, or something to distract him from his thoughts. Anything that would distract him was useful, though he didn't have a thing.

Instead, he'd have to stare at the blank ceiling. Not even the tv would come in handy.

Patrick had brought him a photo album he'd kept in his closet, but he knew that taking a glance would depress him even further. Most of the pics were back when his mom was alive. He hadn't opened the album in a while.

Pete groaned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He wasn't going to get any anytime soon. He's known for waking up at unholy hours of the night. Who even knew what time it was? The curtains were closed, so there was no way he'd be able to tell time by looking outside. So really, he had no other choice but to close his eyes and hope time goes by quickly. Before he knows it, it'll be daytime and he'd get to see his friends and boyfriend.

He shut his eyes and hoped time flew by.

~~~~~

Patrick insisted on looking at the pictures. The ones he knew would flood his mind with not so forgotten memories.

But he didn't want to spend his last days mourning about his life and being such a downer. He might as well have as much fun as he can.

And that's the thing.

Somedays he'd think, 'let's enjoy life a little', yet others, 'forgot everything. I'm about to die anyway'.

His mind was fucked up and definitely not the most reliably. Most of his decisions would end with a not very positive outcome.

Patrick always taught him to listen to his heart, because even though he may seem lost, his heart would guide him.

At least that's what he said. Pete doesn't really know what else to do then to listen.

They were cuddled up close while flipped through a few more pictures, before they settled on one of Dale's, his mother.

"You know, I'll get to see her soon" Pete commented.

Patrick lifted his gaze and his expression saddened as he nodded.

"Hey, it's okay" Pete murmured.

A few tears escaped Patrick's eyes as he shook his head furiously and hid his face behind his hands.

"I'm gonna be fine" Pete assures, pulling the blonde's hands away from his face.

Pete placed a small kiss on the center of his forehead.

"You know what? I'm the luckiest guy in the world"

Patrick lifted his gaze, confusion present on his pale face.

"How many people can truly say they're in love? That they've met the love of their life?"

The blonde offers a small smile and ducks his head.

"I want you to promise me something, Trick"

Pete makes a move to clean his lover's tears with his thumb.

Patrick wordlessly glanced up to meet Pete's gaze.

"I want you to promise me that whatever happens...I want you to listen to yourself before anyone else. To listen to your heart"

Yeah, he added that part on purpose.

"And", he continues, "please, I want you to go through that surgery"

Patrick seemed taken back by the sudden request. His hands fumble as he tries to sign rapidly.

"Wait for what?" Pete asked, taking hold of the other's hands.

The blonde weakly points a finger.

"Me? Trickydoll, I want to be there when you hear the world again for the first time"

Patrick played with his hands as he tried to come up with an excuse to not leave Pete's side.

Unfortunately for him, he came up with nothing.

He sighed and nodded.

Pete grinned and rubbed small circles on his palms. 

Patrick took his hand back and smiled.

"Only because I want to hear your voice" be signed.

Pete chuckled.

"It's nothing special, believe me"

Patrick breathed a laugh and snuggled closer to the older man.

He held up the album and flipped through a few more pages, occasionally pointing out how cute Pete was as a child while Pete always objected.

"I'm so glad I lost the curly hair, though" he commented.

Patrick rolled his eyes playfully and inspected the pictures up close.

Pete was such a liar. He was adorable when he was younger.

~~~~~

It was nights like these were he'd enjoy the peace. Specially with his best friend by his side.

Gabe was always a chatter box. That's what made him Gabe. He's an outgoing guy and sometimes a flirt, yet he'd always brag about having "the best boyfriend in the entire universe and beyond that".

Pete would beg to differ on that one.

Anyway, you get the whole point. Gabe is a really nice guy to hang out with (if you can handle the dumb jokes and the unnecessary information about how Bill's "loud" in bed)

Their conversation had been going on for quite some time. They'd been mingling about the usual, like work, friends, music, foods, etc.

Which speaking of food, Gabe was starving.

"You know what, man? I'm going to grab something to eat. You want anything?"

Pete shook his head.

"No thanks man"

Gabe shrugged and grabbed his jacket from the chair. He slipped it on and zipped it up. Just as he was about to leave, he hears Pete call him.

"Yes man?" He asks, turning to him.

"Sorry to bother, dude, but there's a shoe box under my bed back in my apartment. It'd be great I'd you could bring it"

Gabe nodded.

"Sure thing man"

"Thanks bro"

Gabe smiled and headed out.

Pete sighed and stared blankly at the wall. 

Now the only sound was coming from the machines by his bedside.

Sad to say, he was used to this every night. The silence, the little light coming from a small lamp across the room, the heater, and his own breath.

Gabe, Bill, and Patrick would make the rest of the day bearable by sticking close by.

Speaking of, he heard the knob twist.

That was maybe a little too fast, he though.

The door swung open, and the slight breeze was felt all the way to his bed. 

He grinned. It most definitely was not Gabe. 

It was actually Patrick himself.

The blonde smiled and offered a small smile. It was literally his signature smile.

"I go in tomorrow" he signs.

Pete grinned and replies with a "you're gonna do great"

Patrick nibbled on his bottom lip and shut the door, locking it in the progress.

"Will a nurse be coming in?" He asked.

Pete was glad to hear Patrick was getting the hang of speaking orally. He doesn't stumble as much and knows how to control his voice. He can speak professionally now. He'd been trying to speak more, and it was certainly paying off.

"No, I don't think" Pete answers.

"Gabe? Bill?"

Pete shook his head and says "not anytime soon, I don't think"

Patrick smiled shyly and neared his bed, climbing on top and straddling his hips.

Let's not go into details.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too worn out so excuse any grammar mistakes I would've overlooked.
> 
> Enjoy!

Patrick took Pete's advice and asked Dr. Fresner about the surgery.

"Oh yes about that...well, I'm actually not the one you should look up to for that. I'll send you with the surgeon, Ms. Williams"

Patrick nodded, because what else would he say?

He led him to a room and asked for him to take a seat by the surgeon's desk.

He was asked to wait for a little while and that she'd be right with him. He took this time to control his breathing and calm himself down. He sat directly in front of the desk.

The room was full of photographs. There were pictures of a woman and two other guys, all smiling at the camera. If he wasn't mistaken, the lady in the picture was possibly the surgeon, since the doctor referred to her with female pronouns. Not only that, the office was filled with pictures of her, like one where she's receiving a highschool diploma. Then there was another, with a man handing her a degree. 

Just as he examined the rest of the pictures on the wall and desk, he heard the door open and shut behind him.

He immediately turned his head, and was greeted by the lady in a large, white coat. The woman's name tag read 'Williams'. She was a short woman with bright orange hair. She seemed a little too happy. Nonetheless, she looked like an easy and outgoing person.

"Hi Patrick. Are you ready for this?" She asked, taking a seat behind her desk. 

He grimaced and slowly shook his head.

Ms. Williams laughed.

"You'll do fine, I swear. There's really nothing to be worried about. Besides, I heard your boyfriend's here?"

Patrick nodded, and forced himself to make direct contact. On the bright side, the woman wasn't speaking to him in such a slow manner like other people who usually meet him.

"Aw see? You're not all alone here"

Patrick simply shrugged and smiled.

"Well Mr. Stump, I've got to explain the whole concept of this surgery before we start and whatever"

The blonde nodded and leaned forward. He needed as much information as possible if he wanted to know what's going on.

"Alrighty. Now, the surgery will take several hours. I know, a drag, but you should consider yourself lucky. Not many people get this opportunity, you know?"

Patrick nodded. It didn't make him feel any better, though. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

Ms. Williams smilled.

"I know you're nervous and all, but you want to hear again, right?"

"Yes" he whispered.

Ms. Williams smiled widely at the sound of Patrick's voice.

"Great! You're going in this same day after you fill out these papers, dear. If you want to know more about what's going on, you can just read the papers and stuff" Ms. Williams informed, searching through her metal desk and producing a clipboard. She attached a few documents from a blue folder. She picked a pen from her cup holder and handed both to Patrick.

"While you sign that, I'm gonna go prepare your room" Hayley informed, standing and making her way out.

Patrick muttered a quick "ok" while he read the document over. There wasn't much information. Mostly the benefits of the surgery and a few side effects that came along. Most of this he'd heard from Ms. Williams.

He signed the paper, agreeing to the whole concept he knew he'd have to put up with in order to hear again. The others only explained the procedures and the success of the whole process.

He set the clipboard on Ms. William's desk. He really didn't have to wait too long for the surgeon to walk back in.

Before he knew it, he was being carried to his hospital room in one of the stretchers. It wasn't far. Only a few turns here and there.

"We found that for patients like yourself who could hear for several years ,its generally easier to learn to associate the signals provided by the implant with the sounds that you remember" Ms. Williams explained as she hooked him up to several IV's.

Patrick watched silently as she worked.

Honestly, he did not feel ready whatsoever.

~~~~~

Sleep was not in his favor tonight. It rarely ever was, so it was nothing new, you know?

Actually, it's not even late anymore. It's 6:44 am, so says Gabe's phone.

He laid awake, debating on whether to wake Gabe or let him sleep the night peacefully. The man seemed completely out on the recliner beside Pete's bed.

He groaned and repeatedly smacked his head against the soft pillow (you could hear the beeps from the heart monitor increase)

He turned to face Gabe and thought "eh what the hell?"

He unstiched every IV connected to his body.

"Gabe" he hissed.

He didn't budge.

"Gabe!" He tried again, only a bit louder this time.

When he got no answer whatsoever, he huffed and swung his feet off the bed. 

He attempted to kick Gabe's legs, though he couldn't reach. Curse his short as fuck legs.

"Gabe wake the hell up, man!" Pete hissed out loudly.

As expected, the other didn't even move.

Pete huffed once more and hopped off the hospital bed. He lightly slapped Gabe's cheek.

"Hey dude. Wake your lazy ass up" he says, nudging his shoulder.

Gabe slowly started to wake. He became alarmed when he saw Pete before him.

"Pete what's wrong?"

"Gabe, you gotta help me get out of here" 

Gabe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. All he could ask was "What?"

It was just way too early to process anything.

"Just for a few hours ok?" Pete replies.

"Pete, what the hell are you going to do at the asscrack of dawn?" Gabe grumbled.

"There's something I got to do"

"Are you crazy?! You can't just-"

"Gabe please" Pete interrupted. He tried to pull off his bed puppy eyes, which hello, no longer had any effect on Gabe. He liked to play along though, because the glee on Pete's face was completely worth it.

Gabe sighs heavily and agrees.

Pete grinned widely and enveloped Gabe in a bear hug. Man, he was warm. Gabe enjoyed the warmth radiating off of his best friend's body.

"Gabe, you can let go of me now. I gotta change" Pete chuckled, half-amused.

"Sorry. You were too warm, bro"

Pete laughed and grabbed his clothes off the chair near his bed. He hurriedly rushed to the bathroom.

"You better hurry or we're not going anywhere" Gabe called.

"Patience man I'm coming!" Pete shouted back, laughter evident in his voice.


	22. Chapter 22

"Now the hard part is sneaking past the nurses" Gabe informed, analyzing the room and trying to come up with a way out without being spotted.

Pete, who was right behind him, hummed in agreement and was busy trying to get a peek.

"Gabe, I swear, I can't see anything" Pete muttered, trying to look through the crack between Gabe's arm and the wall. The white of the wall and Gabe's coat somehow fucked with his brain. He doesn't know why.

Gabe had miraculously gotten a hold of one of the doctor's cloaks, claimed he made it 'work'. 

Either way, it disguised him and it worked well, although he did earn a few strange glances. He did a pretty good job in ignoring them and simply waving them off.

Not to mention, a few nurses and patients even tried to hit on this doctor no one's ever seen before. Both male and females. This was most definitely feeding his ego. 

'Because it isn't big enough already, right?' Pete thought sarcastically.

"Alright man. I think these peep like me already so I think they'll let us out" Gabe assured cheekly.

Pete rolled his eyes.

"Yeah whatever. Let's just get going, man. The sooner we get back from doing what I gotta do, the better"

Gabe shrugged and began to walk towards the exit, Pete a few feet behind him.

And he was right. No one did stop them or seem suspicious about their presence.

~~~~~

"I can't believe we're doing this. Look at you man. You're even pale! You shouldn't be out here" Gabe exclaimed.

Pete shook his head, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself. He felt like crap, but he had to do something before it was too late.

"I'll be fine. I'll meet you at the café, alright?"

"What do you mean?" Gabe asked suspiciously.

"I just want to take a small stroll first" Pete replied.

"A stroll?" Gabe deadpanned.

"Yea, you know, to get some fresh air" 

"Peter, it's 15 degrees out! You're not even wearing the proper attire!"

"You sound like my mother" Pete lightly chuckled.

Gabe smiled softly.

"Well I do care about your health as much as she did"

"Yea ok. Well I'll meet up with you later, okay?"

"Pete-"

"I'll be fine" Pete interjected, "see you at the café ok?"

Gabe nodded regretfully.

'I'm gonna regret this' he thought as he watched Pete walk further and further away.

~~~~~

"Peter is that you?" George asked incredulously.

Pete chuckled. He kind of saw that coming.

"Yeah. How've you been, George?" He asked, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

"Better than you. You look like Hell!" he joked.

"You look so pale. Have you lost weight? Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while" he rambled.

Pete shook his head.

"Slow down there, buddy. I've been...ok-ish. Just a little sick. I'm hanging on there, though"

"Then you shouldn't be out here, Peter. You might catch something" George warned, rubbing his own hands together for warmth and chuckling.

"It's actually beautiful out. Great day to be alive, huh?" Pete questioned.

George nodded obliviously.

Pete nodded along and nervously licked his lips before asking "so how's business been?"

"Oh you know, slow. The usual" George responded.

A small chuckle escaped from Pete's lips.

'How do I do this?' He thought to himself.

"Yea well...George listen. I'm not going to be around for a while" Pete informed.

George grinned

"Really? You gonna take a trip with that young man of yours? He's a looker, I tell you" 

Pete grinned back and nodded in agreement.

"Yea he is, but no. He'll be staying here. He has to"

"Oh that's too bad" George replied, frowning a bit.

"I-I was thinking I could catch up on some reading. You know, stock up on a few, um, journals" Pete stuttered. He had to do this.

"Oh yea sure. You gotta keep up with the times" he says with a crackle.

"Yea true. That's why I wanna get my hands on a few copies"

"Of course. How many do you want?" He asked.

Pete shrugged and nibbled on his bottom lip.

"I don't know. I, uh, I was thinking maybe...500? To pass the time until I leave?"

George's face fills with confusion before realization dawns upon him. 

Pete watches as the joyful man's face falls.

"Oh my goodness" he mutters.

Pete hands him all the money he had saved up, the one he had in the shoe box, the one he'll never use. George refuses to take the bundle of cash, but Pete insists. 

He smiles and stalks off after wishing him a farewell.

The poor man was still in shock. Not because of the amount of money Pete gave him, but because the young man's life he knew for so long was coming to an end at such an early stage in life.

Then he realized, to make matters worse, that Pete didn't even wait for the numerous amount of newspapers.

Because he didn't need them.

~~~~~

"I was getting worried about you" Gabe says when Pete gets to the café.

Pete smiles apologetically. 

"Sorry. I just wanted to clear my head for a bit"

Gabe waves him off.

"Don't worry about it man. That's fine"

Pete spots the instruments behind Gabe and felt the need to strum his old bass. The tingle feeling in his fingers will not stop until he gets his hands on his instrument.

Minutes pass as he takes his time to practice his guitar before he starts coughing uncontrollably. Gabe catches him before he falls.

"Thanks Gabe" he answered between coughs.

"No problem, dude. Are you ok?"

"Fine. You know, you're a good friend Gabe"

Gabe chuckles and pats his best friend's shoulder.

"I think we should get you back"

"Wait! I wanna stay a little longer. Please" Pete begged.

Gabe sighed and was just about to respond before Pete cut him short.

"I just wanna play my bass for a while. I just haven't played it in a while and I miss it, you know?"

The taller man nodded understandingly and gave in.

"Fine, only a few minutes more" 

Pete grinned and thanked him once again.

"I'm letting you do so many things that I don't think I should be allowed to do" Gabe admitted.

Pete shrugged.

"That's ok. We do it all the time remember?" 

They haven't laughed that hard in a while.


	23. Chapter 23

The way to the hospital was tough. Not only was Pete practically hanging off his shoulder, but he coughed nonstop and would often pause, claiming he felt nauseous. 

The poor guy was weak and in desperate need of medical attention. Gabe tried to quicken his pace, believe he did. His car would've been extremely helpful at the moment.

He thanked every god in existence when the enormous white building was in eyesight 

He would've never thought the huge, white building wouldn't relief him so much.

"We're almost there, bud. Hang on there" he encouraged.

All Pete could do was nod against his shoulder and cough into his fist.

As soon as they entered, Gabe went frantic as Pete slumped by his side. They'd come a long way from the coffee shop to the hospital (not to mention Pete's 'stroll'), so it was no doubt Pete needed medical attention ASAP.

"I need a doctor fast!" He hollered, an arm around his best friend's shoulder.

Patients all around the room had their eyes on the two men who suddenly appeared panicked.

A nurse hurriedly came to their aid followed by two more. She checked Pete's temperature with the back of her gloved hand and murmured to herself something incoherent.

"Somebody get Dr Fresner!" She shouted to the two other women a few feet away. Said women nodded rapidly and scurried away to the other direction.

It didn't take long for the doctor to rush out and help Gabriel out with Pete.

"Are you crazy? He could die out there!" He hissed. Gabe flinched at his tone, though he knew he couldn't blame him for being rude.

He turned to the nurse and commanded "quick get me a gurney'

As soon as the stretcher's there, they lie him down and hurriedly rush him to his room.

"Apply his breathing mask" Dr. Fresner instructed as he stitched different IV's into Pete's arm.

Gabe was simply watching all the ruckus going on. He felt terrible for actually putting Pete at risk of getting worse.

"I'm sorry" Gabe apologized regretfully.

"Get him out of here" was all Dr. Fresner had to say. 

They remove ant clothing article in the way and check his heartbeat.

It was terribly slow, and Gabe regrets everything he did this afternoon.

He didn't get to see much. Before he knew it, he was being dragged away by a couple nurses. Gabe didn't have the strength to fight against them. He would've if he had the energy to. Anything to stay close to his best friend since high school.

~~~~~

"I truly am sorry, man"

His fetace stained with tears

It's been over three hours and Gabe was still filled with guilt.

"Guess it wasn't such a good idea after all" he finished off.

Pete coughed and shook his head.

"Don't say that. It was amazing" Pete responded.

"You almost died!"

"Gabe, don't you dare get me started on that" Pete warned.

Gabe sighed and ducked his head, running his hands through his hair.

"I just don't want to be reminded, man" Gabe admitted.

"I know, Gabe. It's fine" Pete responded, smiling softly.

Gabe smiled back and gently punched Pete's shoulder.

"You know, Patrick should be out of recovery soon. You'll get to see him" Gabe assured.

Pete groaned and ran his hand down his face.

"I look like crap" he claimed.

Gabe rolled his eyes half heartedly.

"Man you know he doesn't care about that. Besides, you honestly don't look that bad"

Pete fell into a coughing fit and gave out a low groan when it's over.

Gabe chuckles at his friend's misery.

"But you do sound like it" he joked, patting his knee.

"Shut up. I know this" he muttered playfully.

"Hey, I could've lied to you. I could've said you looked fine and that you sound okay" Gabe advised, grinning from ear to ear.

Pete grinned back and shook his head.

"You know, I never had a brother"

"Stop that, dude" Gabe replied seriously. He diverted his gaze to his shoes. This was not the time to get emotional.

"I love you bro" Pete says, his voice cracking just a bit, more than he'd like to admit

Gabe sighs and glances back.

"I love you too, man" 

Pete grinned, and Gabe knew he was not about to get sentimental

"But, you do gotta stop clogging toilets"

And he admits he laughed. Even he knew that was true. The light in Pete's eyes was there for a second until it disappeared after he got through the laughs.

"Hey can you so me a favor?" Pete asked, the humor in his voice completely vanished.

Gabe frowned. Something was up and Gabe prayed it wasn't anything bad

"Of course Pete. What's up?"

"Talk to Patrick for me?"

Gabe's eyebrows knit in confusion. Why him? What's something Pete .couldn't tell the blonde himself. Nonetheless, he nodded.  
"Alright"

He wasn't quite sure what he wanted Gabe to tell Patrick. He didn't ask as he excused himself with a quick 'I'll be right back'

As he walked down the long halls, he wondered what exactly he was to tell Patrick, since Pete didn't inform anything about it.

He approaches the nurse at the font desk once he was in the main room.

She looked about in her 40's with an excessive amount of make up on her face.

"Can you tell me when Patrick Stump is due to get out of recovery?"

The woman smacked her gum. She was an arrogant woman, by the looks of it.

"And you are?" She sassed.

"A friend" Gabe simply replied.

The lady eyed him and typed away on her computer.

"One thing we could always use more of" Gabe muttered, trying to muffle his laughs.

"Excuse me?" The lady retorts.

Gabe shook his head and replied "nothing"

And suddenly, just out of the blue, he remembered the words Pete told him when they were still working. They seemed clear, as if he was home about this just yesterday. 

"His dad ended up dying right in front of him. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's just terrible"

And it hit him.

Pete was taking his last breathes at the moment and it wouldn't be long before he stopped completely.

"Oh my god" he whispered to himself, taking off towards Pete's hospital room.

"Mr. Stump will be out-"

She wasn't able to finish, due to the fact that Gave sprinted back to Pete's room.

"Sir!" She called after him.

But he didn't listen, of course. Not when you're best friend is about to die any minute now and he purposely made you leave the room so you wouldn't have to watch.

~~~~~

All Pete could think of was 'this is it' as he slid the breathing mask off and took in the little bit of oxygen he could. It was useless as he took in such a small amount. Little to nothing.

Until absolutely nothing.


	24. Give Your Tears To The Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to Wait by M83. I strongly recommend listening to get an idea of today's chapter.

Patrick walked down the halls to Pete's room, a smile evident on his face. He was glad the whole process was over. It was strange to hear everything so clearly after so many years. It doesn't feel right, but he was glad he could do it again.

He takes small steps, taking every sound in. He could see what made different noises. It was so strange but fascinating. He'll never get tired of it, no matter how bizarre everything may feel.

He grinned as he approached his lover's room number. He couldn't wait to actually hear what his voice sounded like. He'd been hoping for this since they'd met.

What he saw when he twisted the knob and pushed the door open was not at all pleasant.

He was greeted with the sight of the doctor and a few nurses standing at the foot of Pete's bed, Gabe sobbing endlessly into his chest. Pete laid lifeless on the hospital bad. From afar, you could tell he was no longer breathing. That he was no longer living.

The taller man raised his gaze, broken sobs coming from him before burrowing his face back in Pete's chest.

And one of the most horrifying sounds filled his ears. He couldn't hear it last time he saw it, but he could read heart monitors and knew the sound of a living heart beating. This one was the complete opposite.

The flatline and the mocking high pitched sound coming from it.

He's in shock for a while. It was as if his brain was taking its time processing everything, like it didn't want to take in and believe the scene in front of him. He was awestruck before everything hit at one and he suddenly broke down.

 

~~~~~

 

The sun shone and the day was beautiful, but not to for the certain blonde nor the people standing around the new tombstone.

Gabe was giving his small speech. He sighed at every pause. He still couldn't believe this was actually happening, that his best friend was forever gone.

He breathed through his nose and started, both of his hands in his pockets as he stared down the tomb.

"If you'd ask him, he'd say he lived a pretty rich life"

People smiled. Pete was indeed a positive thinker most of the time.

"Now if you saw his apartment or where he worked, you'd probably think otherwise. You'd have a hard time agreeing with that whole concept. However, if you met him, there would be no question, no exception" he continued, a smile tugging at his lips.

"He was only 33, but I swear he did not act like it" he joked, trying to brighten the atmosphere.

He earned a few chuckles and giggles here and there. The only one who simple offered a terribly small smile was Patrick. He was completely broken on the inside.

"Don't worry, Pete. I'll be covering your shift" Gabe finished. He grimaced and let out a shaky breath, immediately making his way to William.

The pastor, an elderly man, came forward and held his hands right in front of him.

"We have gathered here to say farewell to Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III"

Patrick paid no more attention after that. He denied himself so many things, and the loss of Pete was the main one.

Before he knew it everything was over. The pastor announced a prayer and leaned his head down. The rest of the people followed the same procedure and listened closely.

Right after the chants of 'Amen', everyone went their separate ways. Not him, though. He stayed behind, watching the grave as if Pete would miraculously come alive again.

Gabe approached him, his eyes a bit shiny and face moist from crying. Patrick smiled sympathetically.

"It still feels weird to hear" Patrick starts clearly. The increase in his speaking certainly paid off in his opinion. His voice sounded completely normal to him.

"I don't even know if I like it" he admitted

"It'll take time" Gabe assured.

Patrick nodded agreeingly and kept quiet.

Gabe cleared his throat and opened his mouth.

"You know, what you guys had was like, that love at first sight thing" 

Patrick laughed softly. Gabe smiled and continued.

"He'd talk to me about you all the time. I always tried to warn him. I told him how difficult it would be- I basically told him not to do it, but you know how he was. You know what he told me?"

Patrick stared expectantly, all of his attention drawn to the words coming out of Gabe's mouth. 

"He said he wasnt going to miss out on something great just because it might also be hard. If he would've listened to me, he would've missed out on the greatest things in life"

Patrick breathed in a shaky breath and felt the tears run down pool at his eyes. He sighed deeply, trying to keep himself calm.

"I miss him" he whispered loud enough for Gabe to pick up.

"Yea I do too"

Gabe's eyes widen.

"Wait I almost forgot. One more thing" Gabe announced.

He dug a small package from his coat pocket and gave it a look over before placing it in Patrick's hands. The blonde stared suspiciously.

"It's from Pete" Gabe clarified.

"What is it?" Patrick asked.

Gave smirked.

"You'll see" he simply replies.

"What?" Patrick mumbled, confused as ever.

Gabe laughed and patted his shoulder   
"Well I should get going. Take care man" he said before parting, leaving a very confused Patrick behind.

He looked around and realized that not many were around anymore. He held the package with both hands and walked home.

 

~~~~~

 

It was only a day after when Patrick found himself back in the cemetery. You should've expected him to end up here again. Thank god he didn't have a busy schedule, or a schedule at all really.

Now his mother...that's a different case.

She offered a sweet, sincere smile he hasn't seen since he was only a teenager. He hid his suspicion and smiled back. He watched as she left a single red rose in front of the tombstone.

She knelt down beside him and gazed at the tombstone. 

~BELOVED FRIEND AND BOYFRIEND~

She turned to her son, who still seemed a bit awestruck by her presence. She silently took him in her arms and embraced him. She kissed his hair and rocked them both.

No words were spoken, nor were they needed. Patrick missed these moments dearly.

Patricia felt her son's pain. She was disappointed in herself for not realizing this any sooner.

His son was in love, but now her son's love was gone. She'd forbidden them from seeing each other. She should've let them be.

She realizes this now.

 

~~~~~

 

He was naturally angry. There was no purpose. He just was for no reason whatsoever.

Maybe it was the fact that he was angry with himself, but he didn't even know why.

He found himself back in Pete's apartment. The once decently clean apartment was now ruined. It was a complete mess. Patrick had grabbed everything within an arm's reach and threw it wherever. He couldn't come up with an explanation of some sorts. He was so mad at himself and at the world.

He gripped his strawberry blonde hair and gritted his teeth. He couldn't take it anymore.

He threw Pete's closet door open and yanked shirts off of their hangers. He was a mess, just like this room, and even he knew this. 

He cried angry tears. He shouted and cursed as he threw the nearest objects. 

He held one of Pete's coats and brought it up to his nose. They still held his scent, and this was only a painful memory for Patrick. He didn't care. The smell was reassuring. He held it tight and sniffed. His eyes stung from shedding too many tears these past days. Not to mention the terribly noticeable bags under his beautiful blue/green/hazel, once-full-of-life eyes. His throat was sore from shouting and screaming. The only thing he could manage were a few whimpers.

He silently cried and laid himself on the couch. He covered himself with the coat, in the scent of Pete Wentz.

The man he loves but will never see again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me till the end dudes and dudettes!
> 
> I'm very disappointed in myself because I haven't been using the appropriate use of the word 'blond'. I've written 'blonde' so many time. I feel embarrassed darn it
> 
> Anyway this fanfic has finally come to an end. (I swear I hate writing angst I'm never doing it again)
> 
> Again thank you to those who've read beginning to end. It really means a lot.
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter of this fic :)

The light streaming through the window awoke Patrick from his sleep. He squinted his eyes and tried to block them from the rays of the sun as best as he could.

He sat upright and stretched, a yawn escaping his lips as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

He was able to adjust to the sunlight in the small apartment. He got up and headed towards the kitchen, ready to start up the coffee machine.  
He leaned against the kitchen island. It was then when he realised the disaster he made from last night.

Everyone of Pete's clothing articles were scattered all around the floor. A small lamp was knocked over, the light bulb busted. In all the room was practically turned upside down. 

As his eyes roamed the room, they landed on the small package Gabe gave him the other day. He debated on whether opening it now or maybe when he felt ready. He dired to know what was in there, so he decided to open it now. He took a deep breath and made his way towards the small coffee table on which the package sat. He held it and observed, noticing his name in Pete's sloppy handwriting.

He ran his finger through the words, almost as if he could feel Pete. He knew he was being silly, but he couldn't help himself. He sucked in a breath and began to rip the package open.

The first thing he saw was a folded sheet of notebook paper, which he guessed was probably a letter. He pulled it out and unfolded the paper.

 

Patrick,

Hey baby. I'm so happy for you.  
It's the first day of your brand  
new life. Don't take life's  
blessings for granted, which  
most people do. Go outside and  
hear the world. It's a beautiful  
place and its got a lot to say  
now that you can hear it all.  
You've got your whole life right  
in front of you, Trick. It might  
seem like I'm gone, but I'm not.  
Just staying with my mom for  
a while. Stay strong for me,  
I know you can do it. I'll be there when ever you need me. I love you, Patrick

Love, Pete

 

He smiled as he folded the letter and placed it on the coffee table. He wiped at his eyes and peeked inside the bag. He brought out the only other item that was in there.

It was a locket with a picture of himself and Pete during his 28th 'birthday' at that bar Pete took them on their way home from a date. Who took it, he had no idea. It was clear that they hadn't realized anyone was taking a picture at that moment. It was probably Gabe, but he had no proof. Either way it doesn't bother him. It was a good shot of him and Pete. They both looked so happy and full of life. He clipped it around his neck and rubbed the small pendant.

The sound of the coffee machine was enough to draw back his attention. 

He served himself a mug of the hot liquid and sat down, thinking about the day ahead of him.

He never really had much on his agenda. Maybe he'd have breakfast at the café and pay Gabe a little visit. Hopefully Bill's even there. 

He sets his drink down and prepares  
to clean the mess he made last night.  
He never would've thought that simply folding clothes would bring back so many memories. He placed every photograph and piece of furniture he knocked down in its rightful place.

He's glad he left a few shirts and jeans here of his own here or else he would've had to walk back to his own apartment.

After the whole cleaning process, he set out and took a bus. He appreciates the ability to hear sometimes, since the sounds of a cry from a baby to the sound of other cars rushing by was so fascinating

The different people he watched, the sounds coming from ever direction, cars, buildings, chatter from the people around him. It was all just so amazing to him.

A few would even catch his staring and offer a smile, which he quickly returned.

As the bus stopped at his destination, he stood and prepared to exit. The rest of the way to the café wouldn't be a problem. It wasn't very far, and the walk will also be entertaining. He'd get to look around more, which was what he needed to get his mind off of things.

As he neared the café, he realized that it's been a while since he's been here. He opens the door and steps right in, searching for the same table he sits at every time he came.

He picked up the menu, thinking about his order. Really the main reason he came was to kill some time.

As he was reading, he heard an intentional cough directly in front of him. He looked up and was greeted by Gabe Saporta. The taller man grinned widely.

"Hey Stump. What you doing around here?" He asked cheerfully.

Patrick shrugged.

"Breakfast"

"Great. What can I get you?" 

Patrick glanced at the menu one last time before picking something off of it.

"Just pancakes" 

Gabe wrote it down on his notepad and muttered a 'be right back' before he rushed away. Patrick sat silently, looking around. 

Nothing much had changed since the last time he was there. It was slightly less crowd-y and the instruments were still in the same place. The small shop always had a cheery atmosphere. It was comfortable here.

Gabe was back in about a minute, since the café wasn't actually too busy this morning. Gabriel helped himself and took a seat in the chair opposite of the blond.

"So are you feeling any better?" 

This time Patrick didn't respond. He only looked down, playing with his hands.

"Don't want to talk about it, huh? That's okay. I completely understand" Gabe answered honestly.

"You know, Bill's suppose to be here anytime soon. Maybe you guys can chat or something? In the meantime, I've got to get back to work" he continued.

Patrick glanced up and nodded.

"Okay"

Gabe was just about to stand before he retracted, a look of realization on his face.

"Oh! I also wanted to ask if you'd like to be one of our best men for our wedding?" 

"I'd love to" Patrick kindly responded, a smile tugging at his lips. He still remembers the night he proposed to William. It was too adorable for words.

"Thank you so much, buddy. You don't know how much that means to us" Gabe replied before standing and pushing the chair in.

"Gabe wait" 

Said man turned, a bit surprised by the sudden stop.

"Yeah?"

Patrick bit his bottom lip before asking the dreading question that's been on his mind.

"What was his voice like?" 

Gabe's eyes widen at the unexpected question. He looked around before sitting back down and folding his hands on the table top.

"Well, his voice was kind of rough, sometimes due to lack of sleep. Or from speaking way too much" Gabe says with a laugh.

Patrick giggles himself and continues to listen.

"You didn't miss out much on his laugh either, man. Seriously"

The image of a strange laugh coming out of Pete's mouth made him a laugh a tad harder.

"But overall he was a pretty cool dude" Gabe finished off.

"That is all, Gabe. It was my only concern" Patrick says lightly.

Gabe pats his shoulder and makes his way to the kitchen. William would be here soon thankfully. He'll have someone to talk to.

However, the description of Pete's voice Gabe gave him will never be enough to him. 

He's left with the need of hearing Pete Wentz's voice. It's sad to say that he'll never get the chance for him.

**Author's Note:**

> You guys let me know if there were any spelling mistakes.


End file.
